THE CURSE OF BRIDGE HOLLOW (2022)

THE CURSE OF BRIDGE HOLLOW (2022)

Tagline: Halloween Comes to Life

(Comedy, Halloween, Weird Science) [PG-13]

Note: This wasn’t a theatrical release. It got rated TV-14 which is essentially the TV version of PG-13. 

Do you like werewolves? Because I’ve got a whole shed full of werewolves. 

In this one Sydney Gordon has moved to a new town and is looking to fit in when she is told by some classmates that her house might be haunted. She holds a séance to find out what’s going on and contact the spirit that lives there. Instead, she is given a jack-o-lantern that houses the spirit of “Stingy Jack”, a man who was wicked, ended up being killed by the villagers and is pitied by the devil and uses the powers bestowed on him to get his revenge on the descendants of those who killed him. Yeah, that is the light and fluffy story behind this damn thing. Sydney leans on her skeptical father to help save the town. 

One great thing about a lot of movies that happen on Halloween is that you get a great soundtrack. This movie fits right into that mold pretty easily giving us several cool Halloween tracks. They also had some really cool designs and great CGI. It does have a slow start but picks up to a pretty good pace after we’ve been introduced to the characters. 

Acting wise Priah Ferguson as Sydney Gordon is pretty solid in this, but she is essentially playing the same character she is in STRANGER THINGS, so it probably wasn’t difficult range-wise. One thing I liked is that she’s playing a 14-year-old and in real life, she’s only 16. Her friends in the movie are all supposed to be the same age she is, and look it in the movie but are played by 20-year-olds. This is pretty standard, but I like that Priah is killing it this early in her career. Kelly Rowland is underutilized in this as Emily Gordon, but it was nice to see her return to horror so to speak. The last horror flick I saw her in was 2003’s FREDDY VS JASON. Rob Riggle was great as Sully and added some good comedic value to the film. Marlon Wayans plays the father Howard Gordon in this and he is very good. This isn’t a fall down on the floor and rolls around in laughter film, but he’s got some funny moments. 

On the downside, this movie adds itself to the list of woke-influenced flicks that point out that being white someone comes with an added privilege. It’s not enough to ruin this movie, but it’s just another way that entertainment has become so racist they can’t stop telling minorities how hard they have it and how everything is stacked against them. Because nothing solves racism like constantly shoving it in people’s faces about how racist everything is. It also seems like they stole a lot of this movie's ideas from GOOSEBUMPS 2: HAUNTED HALLOWEEN (another film where all the Halloween decorations came to life). It’s also overly dark for a supposed family film. When you are talking about séances and spells being used to fight the devil, it’s basically like using gasoline to fight a fire. I think this is why stories like Harry Potter are so much better than drawing direct real lines between good and evil. That world was a complete fantasy. This one is a bit too close to the cuff and kind of glorifies getting into very real and very demonic stuff. Making the message playful and lighthearted is in some ways worse because then you can just push it off as something kids should be totally fine with. One thing this movie could be used for is a lesson for kids on how NOT to pursue darkness or use it to fight other darkness. It’s kind of a secular lie Hollywood has been going with for a while now.

Overall this might be in the HOCUS POCUS wheelhouse of Halloween films that is actually too dark to be called a family film, but in the world we live in, I guess that’s not shocking. Not nearly as fun or intriguing as last year’s HUBI HALLOWEEN, this is a swing and a miss with great visuals but no heart. 

I give THE CURSE OF BRIDGE HOLLOW a 3 out of 7 for a few laughs and good performances, but it’s definitely not a kid's movie given the subject matter…but hey, if your kid ends up all jacked up by the time they hit their teens after you have been force-feeding them a steady diet of patty cake witchcraft like the stuff in this movie, Tik Tok, Facebook, spiritually bankrupt cheerleading, and Dunkin Donuts, don’t blame me. 

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF UGLY BABY PRODUCTIONS AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY. 

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