DOLL SHARK (2022)

DOLL SHARK (2022)

Tagline: You're gonna need a bigger toy box!

(Horror, Nonsense, How To Make A Movie For $25.00 And A Bottle Of Tempera) [PG]

Note: This movie did not get an MPAA rating, but I am going to say it would have gotten an [PG]. This thing has SRS CINEMA as the producers, but it’s really a Polonia Brothers Entertainment movie. Not that SRS is much better.

In this one a man kills a shark that he believes has “a darkness” about it and has even killed a few kids. Days later he sends his son a sea shark plush doll which is the latest craze. Shortly after it becomes apparent that the spirit of the shark he killed has possessed the DOLL SHARK. 

Oh man, I am not sure how my stuffed animals they used for this film, but there are clearly at least 2, and one of them looks jacked out as heck. I am talking 5am Starbucks customer jacked out. Once again we happen upon a Polonia Brothers flick and to be honest, if they weren’t making shark flicks I probably wouldn’t watch anything they are involved in, but here we are. This movie is kind of playing off the CHILD’S PLAY series only it’s a shark doll rather than a Good Guy doll. The doll shark doesn’t talk, but it makes all kinds of grunting noises and has an evil laugh. No, I am not kidding. 

Acting wise we get a lot of the Polonia Brothers Entertainment mainstays and we even get some brief  Jamie Morgan (SHARKULA) sighting. She is not good in this but she is decent in other films and actually has 8 movies coming out as of the writing of this review, so she is in high demand in the B-movie horror world. Danielle Donahue (QUEEN CRAB) plays an alcoholic mother named Lyla in this which is kind of a downer. I did find a mistake on IMDb in the Trivia on this. It mentions that Natalie Himmelberger (SHARK ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND) gave an interview to Variety magazine saying she channeled her real-life alcoholic mother for the role, but Natalie doesn’t play the mother and she isn’t drunk in any scene. Danielle Donahue is the mother and she’s acting drunk in nearly all her scenes. Anyway – hardcore fans of either of these two actresses will probably be happy because they both get a bit of screen time. 

The score is actually pretty decent as is the soundtrack for a B-movie. The pacing is pretty bad and the script seems like it was written overnight. Having said that, you have to give it to the Polonia Brothers, if there is a script about a shark, they are probably going to make that movie. I am actually kind of shocked they weren’t involved in SHARK SIDE OF THE MOON. 

As far as the special effects there really aren’t any, you can tell the blood is tempera paint or something like it. There are no guts whatsoever and the one shark victim we see with no skin looks very B-movie which is actually fine for what this thing is. As a fair warning, never go into a Polonia Brothers film expecting a masterpiece. These are low-budget quickly-made movies you could probably do on your own with an iPhone and some pizza money. That being said, most people are not making these films, and that is why the Polonia Brothers are still successfully cranking these things out for people like me to try to find some enjoyment in the madness, and as much as I rip these things from time to time. I love that they are just doing what they do. 

Overall this is a 2 out of 7. A better script and a little more even performances could have rescued this thing because the concept was actually pretty fun.
 

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF SRS CINEMA AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY.