TANK GIRL (1995)

TANK GIRL (1995)

Tagline: In 2033, justice rides a tank and wears lip gloss

(Action, Sci-Fi, Really Weird Comedy) [R]

All the king's horses and all the king's men... wish they had the technology I have.

This one takes place in 2033 when water is really hard to come by so those who have it have all the power. Tank Girl, her boyfriend, and a few others are the only people left in the more deserted part of the earth and they know it won’t be long before they are raided by an evil corporation known as “Water and Power”. Tank Girl ends up in a W + P work camp and ends up befriending Jet Girl who is getting treated badly and both want out. Meanwhile, mysterious marauders called Rippers are giving the company fits and as Tank Girl and Jet Girl encounter them, they realize they are not what she previously thought. Now Tank Girl must get all the allies she can in an attempt to rescue a young friend from the clutches of W + P. 

First off, there are several scenes in this movie where they resort to using a bunch of frames that had to be drawn by the creators of the comic the movie is based on. Apparently, a lot of scenes from the script just either got forgotten about or weren’t in the budget. The comics creators have said the movie is a sore spot for them because of the nightmare they encountered during production. As a creator, I have always wanted to see a live version of ANGELWOLF get made, but I can understand the fear that would come with someone else kind of taking over the creative reigns or totally ignoring stuff in the script. Worse yet, what if you hate the script and the design work? The studio decided to cut a part of the sex scene from the movie that already sort of rides the line of bestiality and I am really glad they did. It’s one of the rare times that I am aware of where studio tampering was a net positive. Having said that, apparently, there was a lot of Sub Girl that was supposed to be a major part of this movie but nearly all of her scenes were cut. So we have an “oh that’s good, but oh, that other thing sucks” situation here. 

A lot of this movie is just in the desert with Tank Girl running from something, but we do get introduced to Jet Girl who is played by Naomi Watts (BOSS LEVEL). Jet Girl for me was actually a LOT more tolerable than Tank Girl who honestly I found to be super annoying. Tender-hearted, but annoying. In fact, I would rather have watched a movie that was just about Jet Girl. Lori Petty (POINT BREAK) plays Tank Girl and actually does everything you would have expected her to do, so I am not blaming the actress for the character being annoying. The movie also features Ice-T (JOHNNY MNEMONIC) who does a decent job, but he plays one of the Rippers so we never really see “him” in this. I didn’t have a problem with his role here, but apparently, he got a lot of crap for it. Malcolm McDowell (BOLT) plays the movie's main villain Kesslee and kills it. He’s done a lot of different things over the year, but he’s always made a fantastic villain. Also – I am always on the lookout for James Hong and he makes a brief appearance in this, so that’s always awesome unless it’s EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE because that movie sucked. I really don’t care what the awards shows say. 

What works in this thing is the refreshing creativity. This movie happens in an apocalyptic situation but still manages to have a lot of color and really interesting world-building. I liked a lot of the aesthetic and the soundtrack is pretty great.  

This thing does stretch some boundaries, which is pretty typical when you can cloak things in sci-fi. Some of that is good, but in this movie, the risks come across as super cringy. I am guessing this never got a sequel because it only made back about 25% of what it cost to make but that wasn’t its only problem. I think when you throw in really weird dialog that reads like the diary of an abused teen and try to make it funny you are losing the vast majority of people that have any conscience. A lot like the animated show “Rick & Morty” it’s not meant to be taken seriously, but just thinking about some of the actual dialog is freakin disturbing. 

For me this had enough charm and visuals to give it a 3 out of 7, the artwork was also largely pretty cool in a weird retro pop-punk sort of way and I liked most of those elements. Having said that, if you take Tank Girl out of this, I’d have to give this a 1 out of 7. 

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF IMAGE COMICS AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY.