SHARKENSTEIN (2016)

SHARKENSTEIN (2016)

Tagline: A New Breed of Killer.

(Action, Comedy, Mad Science) [R]

Note: This movie wasn’t given an MPAA rating, but it would probably be an R. 

In this one, we are taken to a small town that is being terrorized by a blood-hungry Sharkenstein creature built from reanimated parts of the dead sharks. Meanwhile, Madge and her friends, along with Duke Lawson (a local authority) are trying to figure out how to kill the menace that can also move around on land before it kills the entire town. 

First off, if you watch shark movies much, you know almost never does the movie live up to the poster. Not even in JAWS. This movie is another one in a long line of b-movies where the poster is definitely better than anything we see in the movie. The shark design in this movie is by far the worst I have ever seen when comparing it to what was on the poster, or what is even really considered a shark. 

The storyline actually starts out with some black and white clips with probably the worst CGI I have ever seen aside from BIRDEMIC. So any CGI you see in this thing is just going to be extremely pathetic. There are even a few scenes where a puppet is clearly used for the Sharkenstein creature and it’s just really bad. The plot is just about as equally bad. I kind of love the idea because it’s so far out of the box, but even if you were full-blown going for a comedy here, you have to make it either incredibly funny or execute the idea decently. Unfortunately, the attempts are humor here are bad. We have a few nods to mobs and how unruly and unorganized they can be which is pretty comical, but it’s also not enough to keep the laughs rolling throughout. 

Where this movie succeeds is in having likable characters. I found myself rooting for Madge, played by b-movie actress Greta Volkova. Unfortunately, Greta was also in HOUSE SHARK, the single worst shark movie I ever tried to watch. Her character is also a Frankenstein expert and we get a scene where she covers all the old Frankenstein movies. That part was pretty cool because I have seen a lot of those. I also liked  Ken Van Sant as Duke Lawson. Van Sant was also in the barely watchable QUEEN CRAB but wasn’t the problem with that dumpster fire. This movie is also pretty fun in spite of hour poorly it’s executed and it's many, many letdowns when you see that poster. When you have characters to root for that is always a bright spot. 

Where this movie fails is in not getting any actors outside of the two that I mentioned, and maybe Titus Himmelberger. He can act a little and 6 of his 23 acting credits so far are shark movies. So he just looks like a dude that should be running from sharks apparently. 97% of this cast looks like the director went down to Denny’s on a Friday morning and just picked the first 20 people he saw to be in his movie. I can also only assume the sappy soundtrack that would have been better suited for an episode of “Who’s The Boss” was meant to be comical, but it’s just way more annoying than anything. If funny things were happening, then maybe it would have worked, but when you have a bad soundtrack you are only making your movie tougher to watch. 

Overall there is just enough fun in this movie to watch it at least once. Especially if you really like terrible shark movies with just a ton of nonsense in them. SHARKENSTEIN gets a 4 out of 7 just for being so nuts and not being ridiculously crass or overly perverted in the process. If you can accept that this thing is going to not meet your expectations or be well executed, there is some entertainment here. 

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF WILD EYE RELEASING AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY. 

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