AVALANCHE SHARKS (2014)

AVALANCHE SHARKS (2014)

Tagline: The snow will run red with blood.

(Adventure, Comedy, Bling Sharks) [PG-13]

Note: This movie wasn’t given an MPAA rating, but I think some of the language would have had it getting a PG-13. 

Do you, uh, ski here often?

In this one, we are taken to a snow resort during Spring Break. Of course, this is the perfect time for crystalized sharks to kill everyone they see in order to protect the mountain from trespassers. Can the Sheriff and his significant other save dozens of unsuspecting skiers before they are torn to pieces and dragged to an icy death? 

First off, this thing just gets pounded in reviews, but when you start to really take a look at this thing against waves of other shark movies out there. It’s actually pretty great and pretty funny in parts. Overall I probably liked the characters in DAM SHARKS better, but we do have a few people we are rooting for in this and the concept overall ends up actually working if you can just throw away science, normal thought, physics, etc. aside. By the way, if you are watching ANY movie ever that isn’t meant to be realistic, don’t go in expecting the movie to make much sense outside of its “own rules” and you will be a lot more likely to enjoy it.

Where this movie is just awesome is in that we get a lot of tried and true horror concepts in it. This movie is not taking itself seriously by any means and I kind of love that. We get an old dude (ala FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2) telling everyone to leave the ski resort because they are going to die. We have anyone about to have pre-marital sex get killed, and people that want to make money decide to leave the resort open in spite of deaths piling up all around them. It’s pretty awesome. Most of the kills are cheesy and the campiness is off the charts. I think they could have made a more “snow” looking shark, but the idea of having them look kind of crystalized or “icy” looking wasn’t terrible. I also thought for the most part the score worked. 

Acting wise we get Amy Ninh as Hrio. This was the only movie she ever did, but her role is pretty hilarious and she factors into the ending of the movie epically. This film probably has one of my favorite endings to a shark flick ever. The resolution to what is going on is so wildly simple, it’s almost stupid, but in the best way possible. We get a decent amount of Kate Nauta as Diana and she does a pretty good job. Kate was in movies like THE GAME PLAN and TRANSPORTER 2 but seems to have gotten out of acting in 2014. This was her second to the last movie. We also get some pretty solid acting from Richard Gleason who plays the Sheriff. His big claim to fame is probably a stint on the soap opera “The Young And The Restless”. I did not like Alexander Mendeluk in this as Wade. Just something about his character that made me want to see him get eaten by a shark or a random bear. 

Where this movie kind of goes south for me is when it comes to the shark attacks being a bit too fast. This is actually a problem in a lot of shark movies. I think if you are making one of these, it’s fine to shoot at least a couple of the attacks where the person is fighting back or trying to get away so we have time to see the sharks. It’s just a shot in the dark. Outside of that, though, I really don’t have a ton of complaints here. 

Overall when you look at this thing from an “all shark movies” perspective, it’s really fun and actually pretty great for a movie that doesn’t even have a body of water aside from a Jacuzzi in it. This is a 5 out of 7. I would definitely buy it for my shark movie collection. 

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF ODYSSEY MEDIA AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY. 

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