SHARKTOPUS VS. WHALEWOLF (2015)
Tagline: Nope, just get straight to the nonsense.
(Action, Adventure, Total Nonsense) [PG-13]
Note – this was a TV-14 made for TV movie, so it wasn’t looked at by the MPAA. I just slapped a PG-13 rating on it, because I am pretty sure that is what they would have done.
So back in June of 2020, I first reviewed SHARKTOPUS VS PTERACUDA, and apparently, Corman and company decided to waste zero time on pumping out the next pile of garbage in this series. Conceptually I actually think some of the ideas in this thing are pretty fun.
In this one we get introduced to Dr. Elsa Reinhardt who decides it’s a great idea to mess with animal DNA, only this time using a human. As a result, some dude gets turned into an animal that is a mixture between a grey wolf, a killer whale, and of course a human. This beast known as Whalewolf has good listening skills for about half the movie but then ends up on a rampage. Meanwhile, the Sharktopus is out there and causing problems of his own while some voodoo enthusiasts who want its power are trying to hunt it down for their own use. Yep, that’s the freakin plot.
Okay, so you are telling me there is a werewolf sort of hybrid killer whale in this movie and it’s going to fight Sharktopus? Sign me up. Oh, now you are telling me we are cramming basically a Nazi doctor (played by Catherine Oxenberg probably best known for the TV show DYNASTY) who digs werewolf killer whales and voodoo into that same plot? Sounds risky, and unfortunately, it is. The dynamic between Dr. Reinhardt and the Whalewolf is just really freakin bizarre (and not in a cool way).
While we actually get a decent performance out of Akari Endo (who seems to have stopped acting after 2018) as Inspector Nita Morales, everyone else has pretty much mailed it in. Even Casper Van Dien seems to be completely un-enthused about this damn movie as Ray Brady. Casper Van Dien in case I haven’t said it, is like the budget Nicolas Cage. Both actors seem like they will take any role, anywhere, any budget, any time. Cage has 106 credits and counting while Van Dien is at a ludicrous pace of 139 credits and counting. Anyway – in this one, Van Dien isn’t worth whatever they paid him, even if it was a large pizza.
The effects and cinematography are notably bad, but honestly, I fully expected that this is a B-Movie, not MEG, but the excess of bad acting and horrible execution makes this hard to enjoy even for someone trying their hardest too. This was meant to be a bit of a comedy but it just loses all that in the clouds of “weirdness” they threw in here.
Having said all that this thing might still be slightly better than its predecessor, just not enough “better” for me to award it anything higher than a 3 out of 7 rating. I feel bad for Akari Endo because she was clearly the only one trying.
GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF ROGER CORMAN AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY.
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