GROTESQUE (1988)

GROTESQUE (1988)

Tagline: There is a fate worse than death.

(Horror, Twist, Hi Welcome to Burger King) [R]

You can call them that if you want to, but they look like real troublemakers to me. 

In this one, Lisa and Kathy are headed up to a family reunion with Lisa’s parents. They live in a cabin in the woods. While on the way there they have a run-in with some punks that try to run them off the road. They later have another run-in with them at the local general store, but end up finally getting to the cabin anyway. Later that night Lisa’s entire family is murdered. Only they are not about to get away with it. Someone has remained and is taking their revenge. 

First off, this movie is probably considered more of a horror flick than a thriller because it’s loaded with references to monster movies from the 50s to the 80s. I think this actually might have been a fairly effect film if it had been shot in black and white and had an ending that wasn’t so lackluster. The actual story is definitely disturbing. 

The production overall is fine, but I think a couple of things ruined this movie. The first thing was the name of the film and confusing VHS covers. I think if they had simply called this THE CABIN IN THE WOODS (yes, like that stupid Joss Whedon movie) or just about anything else they would have been better off. Apparently, Linda Blair (HELL NIGHT) who stars as Lisa felt the same way and actually said she could have sued to change the movie’s title as the associate producer, but it would have cost her more than she got paid to make the movie. This film does elude to several other horror flicks; one inclusion is the pumpkin mask from HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH. 

This thing takes about 7 minutes to get going but the last 45 minutes or so really slow down before we finally get to the film's mediocre conclusion. Acting wise Donna Wilkes (BLOOD SONG) stars as Kathy. She does a pretty good job in this and I really wish she had gotten more screen time. Brad Wilson (PTERODACTYL WOMAN FROM BEVERLY HILLS) plays the crazed leader of the Punks. I really can’t stand this character which probably means he crushed the role. We also got a fairly small role from Robert Z'Dar (MANIAC COP) who plays Eric, one of the punks. Rounding out the main cast Tab Hunter plays Rod and this dude man on man. I don’t want to give it away, but wow. 

I don’t know that I would call this a “scary” film, but it is very intense in some sequences without getting super gory aside from some of the prosthetics. This movie goes wildly sideways in the last act and to be honest, I thought it was pretty stupid. It would be kind of like if JAWS had ended and you found out the whole movie was happening in a child’s bathtub. Yes, there is something “Twilight Zone-ish” about it, but this flick didn’t need a gimmick. It was already off to a pretty memorable start. The impression that I get is they just had no idea how to really end it and decided to do something really stupid with it. 

The score for this one is just okay and the soundtrack is nearly non-existent. This is disappointing especially when they had most of the 80’s worth of music to work with.  I can’t come anywhere near recommending GROTESQUE, it’s a sloppy movie that almost feels like a gag on the audience rather than a clever well executed slasher. 

I give this one a 2 out of 7. I think without the dumb ending; I would have been able to bump it up to a 3 or 4. 

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