THE RETIREMENT PLAN (2023)

THE RETIREMENT PLAN (2023)

Tagline: Retirement Can Be A Real Killer

(Action, Comedy, Othello) [R]

The old guy, he keeps killing everybody. Everybody! 

In this one Ashley is in love with this Jimmy. Jimmy is the driver for a mob boss named Donnie. Jimmy sees that working for a mob boss is eventually going to end up getting him killed and it’s not the life he wants for Ashley or their daughter Sarah. So he ends up discovering a USB drive with information that could give him the leverage he needs to get “out”. He is tracked down, but Ashley is able to send Sarah off to the Cayman Islands before she too is captured by Donnie’s goons. Meanwhile, Ashley’s estranged father Matt lives where Sarah is headed. Matt is totally an assassin. 

First off, if you watch the preview for this thing, that is exactly what you need to expect. It’s a comedy with some tender moments and some brutal moments. It is not trying to be artsy or tell you some mind-blowing story that you will remember for the rest of your life. It’s just meant to be a fun action comedy. 

Once you put that hat on, this thing is pretty enjoyable in spite of the fact that the writers seemed to have only about a 30-word vocabulary that consists largely of taking God’s name in vain. It feels like they were trying to meet some sort of quota. Eventually, as the story moves along, we do actually get some good lines. Having said that, this film comes across as more of a mid-range effort, than a theatrical release. It’s better than a direct-to-video effort, but yeah. I am just telling you in advance to expect a bit of fun with mostly terrible writing. 

Acting wise this cast is definitely a draw. While I think that Ron Perlman (TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE BEASTS) has lost his mind, he is a great actor. He does a solid job in this role as Bobo, but it’s far from his best. Nicolas Cage (JIU JITSU) is pretty good in this. I have seen him play old crotchety guys before, but this role feels pretty natural for him. As of this review, he is only 59, so he’s got at least 11 more years of doing action flicks if we want to use Liam Neeson as a guide. Ashley Greene (WRONG PLACE) is much better in this as Ashly than she was in WRONG PLACE. Conversely, Jackie Earle Haley (WATCHMEN) was better in HYPNOTIC and WATCHMEN than he was in this. This is a good outing for Grace Byers (THE BLACKENING). It also addresses her range just in case you were wondering if she could play a villain with a dude’s name; “Hector”. I think Thalia Campbell has a bright future. She plays Sarah in this and is very solid. I also love it when you can have a kid in a movie and they are just full-blown annoying. She’s not annoying at all. I also liked Lynn Whitfield (JAWS THE REVENGE), but she has had better roles. Rounding out the main cast was also get Ernie Hudson (CONGO). He is by far my favorite character in this movie but gets limited screen time. 

The soundtrack was bland, and the score was just okay, but the pacing and story were pretty fun even though it was a bit cookie-cutter. This film was directed by Tim Brown who did an okay job here but really didn’t take any interesting risks, like getting the camera guys to give us some fun angles, flicking the camera upside down, or tossing it in the air, attaching 2 or 3 of them to a hula-hoop or any of that. Instead, this is pretty standard stuff you would see on an episodic TV show. 

Overall it’s worth a watch, but probably not worth running out to the theaters for. There were only 2 other people in my viewing and it was at a prime time on Saturday night. THE RETIREMENT PLAN is a fun watch, just keep the expectations in check. 

This one gets a 4 out of 7. A few tweaks to the script and shooting this thing in a more interesting way would have helped. 

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