SHARK WATERS (2022)

SHARK WATERS (2022)

Tagline: A Fishing Trip Turned Upside Down.

(Action, Thriller, We’re Going to Need the Tiniest Boat You Can Find) [PG-13]

Note: This is a made-for-TV movie that is given a TV-14 on streaming services. That is about the equivalent of the MPA’s PG-13 rating. 

That’s just what I tell my charters. Truth is, I just bought it off of eBay last year. 

In this one, Lucia and a group of friends go out on a fishing trip with a small boat crew. The trip goes well at first, but it doesn’t take long before a group of sharks show up and start to find ways of gobbling up everyone on that fishing boat. The boat is now sinking and time is running out for any chance at a rescue. 

First off, this movie features one of the worst rescue efforts ever filmed. It’s so bad that it makes this movie unnecessarily hysterical, but to be honest, that might actually be one of the few reasons it’s mildly entertaining. After watching another THE ASYLUM release SHARK SEASON recently, the drop off in direction and quality from that film to this one is almost psychologically hard to get my head around. This thing sucks and unfortunately, even a decent score can’t really fix the series of stupid decisions plaguing the plot.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate any of the characters. It would be like hating Red Lobster for not just offering their all-you-can-eat shrimp fest at a slightly higher price year-round. Oh wait…they finally did that starting this month? Okay…well there you go. The issue is that they are exceedingly stupid and that stupidity is getting people killed. This film also makes the Coast Guard look really slow and really incompetent. I am not sure if that is a real thing, but it does make me want to never go in the ocean so that I can avoid having to depend on them. Or maybe if I do go out on the ocean, I am just bringing at least 5 giant knives and every torpedo gun I can fit on the boat.  

On top of a really bad plot, the dialog is flimsy. There is a 5-minute conversation between 2 of the coast guard members that literally doesn’t add anything to the plot or do anything for the storyline at all. It’s almost like they crammed it in there just to get the movie to a 1 hour and 25 minute run time. 

Acting wise I have to say I really couldn’t stand most of this cast and I never like saying that. Meghan Carrasquillo is pretty useless in this as Lucia and really isn’t even given much to do aside from freak out. In a way, that kind of makes sense because she’s done a lot of horror. None of which I have actually watched. So if you are going to have someone play a role where they are just screaming, it’s good to pick someone that has done a lot of horror. I am not too familiar with Mike Rae Anderson’s work, but he was a lot more impressive in this and plays a cool character Captain Banning. I also have to give my hat off to Jonathan Shores (PLAN 9) who is solid as Shatto. No one else really got my attention. 

In most shark flicks you do get a few dumb decisions, but when those bad decisions override the actual story and the whole idea that sharks are in the film, then we are on the level of stupidity where you just want to make your movie a full-blown comedy. After seeing that THE ASYLUM is capable of making a good shark movie, it sucks to see a terrible one. 

SHARK WATERS gets a 2 out of 7. It would have taken major changes to even bring this to a 3.

 GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF THE ASYLUM AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY.