MALIBU SHARK ATTACK (2009)
Tagline: Terror Has New Teeth
(Action, Drama, Horned Sharks) [PG-13]
Note: This movie never got an MPAA rating. It came out on streaming services and cable with a TV-14 rating which is essentially a PG-13 rating.
There was a shark in the parking lot.
Oh man, so honestly I thought this was going to be another “stuck out in the ocean” shark flick from the title, but no. We actually get some prehistoric goblin sharks that are released by an earthquake under the ocean. The coast of CA is in danger from the sharks, but there is also a massive tsunami coming. Unable to get out of town in time, a group of lifeguards gets stuck in a lifeguard tower and a group of construction workers get stuck in the building they are in. Can both groups survive long enough for rescue workers to arrive, or will they have to take matters into their own hands?
I think the biggest improvement in this movie over a lot of shark flicks is that there are actually plenty of attacks. Over the course of the film things actually do escalate and we get increasing danger levels in different locations as the film moves along. I think after the opening scene there was a significant drop in the quality of the CGI. That first shot is actually pretty cool looking. We also get a decent but kind of sad storyline that involves a couple of couples growing together and some challenges being overcome, but the script isn’t good. That would be going a step too far, let’s not get nuts here.
What doesn’t work in this flick is the script, like I said. It starts out pretty basic and I thought like the CGI it was fine, but over the course of the movie, the dialog just gets more and more lame. The CGI also gets worse and worse over time. I think back in 1999 this might have gotten a pass, but in 2009, it seems like nearly any person with a computer would have been able to pull this stuff off. It would have been better to have people in shark costumes running around after everyone. At least at that point, it could have been a pretty funny comedy along the lines of THE VELOCIPASTOR. I don’t agree with people saying this is the worst shark film they have ever seen. Clearly, those people have not watched enough bad shark movies. Because of course, there is no such thing as watching too many bad shark movies. Situation wise this does come close to the situations we get in BAIT, but don’t walk into this expecting that movie because you will be so disappointed that you will probably throw something at your TV.
Acting wise it’s not like they hired a bunch of people that couldn’t act. Peta Wilson (LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN) can act. She plays Heather in this movie, but the character is written very unevenly and ultimately gets so shaken, dudes are basically having to yell at her to snap out of daydreaming. This is not to say that dealing with sharks wouldn’t shake anyone, but she is literally one of the leaders of these lifeguards and prior to this all going down, she is portrayed as a commanding leader, not a frail person. Chelan Simmons (FINAL DESTINATION 3) plays a pretty annoying character named Jenny and does a good job for what she was asked to do, but this character brings nothing to the story. We actually get characters killed off that I thought were far better. Remi Broadway (SCOOBY-DOO) is pretty solid in this as Doug and ended up being one of the characters I liked the most. It does look like Remi got out of acting about 10 years ago. The rest of the cast is actually fine, but unfortunately, decent talents aren’t often able to overcome a tacky aimless script.
The score was okay, but there is nothing special about the soundtrack or the cinematography here. Overall if you are going for just above the worst shark films, you came to the right place. The sharks do look like they all bumped their heads on something really hard before they started attacking everyone, so just be aware of that.
This one gets a 2 out of 7, if the script had been a bit better and they had taken more time with the CGI, we’d be talking about a 3 or a 4.
GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF INSIGHT FILM STUDIOS AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY.
Comments
Post a Comment