JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK (2012)

JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK (2012)

Tagline: Your worst fears will surface.

(Action, Comedy, Albino Sharks Will Eat Your Face Off) [R]

We get into one little fight and you go slumming it with a guidette.

This one takes place in Seaside Heights, NJ, and vibrations from drilling in the area attack a bunch of rare albino sharks. After their friend is killed the sheriff's son, TC, and his friends that haven’t been eaten yet, decide to try and warn the town about the sharks with the 4th of July approaching. As usual, the people with the power to do something in the town ignore Sheriff Moretti and anyone that even remotely resembles the cast of the 2009 TV show Jersey Shore. 

Let me be clear, this movie is bad and it’s not even trying to be good. So with that in mind, all you need is to take this whole movie with a grain of salt. It’s a comedy, it’s not trying to hurt you, bite your legs off, or ruin your Ferris wheel or any of that. Oh, and a bunch of New Jersey residents are going to die. 

One thing this movie does a terrible job at is giving us any sort of credible CGI. I thought the rig of the shark they used was fine, but it also didn’t look anything near like a real shark. It’s probably on par with the rig they used for THE LAST SHARK. Also apparently the whole thing could have been stopped by pulling one lever on the drilling rig, but no. They don’t figure that out till it’s way too late and everyone is screaming and dying. The other thing it does badly is get these actors and actresses to do any sort of good acting at all. Having said that, it’s all fine, this is meant to be a comedy and probably a comedy that is purposely trying to poke fun at the show JERSEY SHORE. At least if it isn’t trying to, it’s doing a really good job of appearing to do that. The director doesn’t seem to have put a ton of effort into this, it seems like they just wanted to get this film done as straightforward as possible. Regarding the script, I really think this thing was a mess, but they were at least trying to make it fun. 

This movie does have a few funny lines but I didn’t find myself rolling on the floor or anything like that. We do get a few pretty decent shark attack scenes, but most happen so fast that you really don’t see what’s going on. This is pretty common in a lot of shark movies, but they definitely went overkill with the 1-second shark attacks in this thing. 

Acting wise we get Jack Scalia (KRAKEN TENTACLES OF THE DEEP) who is actually trying and doing a pretty good job in this. I really never have any complaints about William Atherton (GHOSTBUSTERS) who almost always nails being a bad guy. Paul Sorvino (THE FIRM) is fairly good in this but isn’t given much to do. I am not super familiar with the rest of the cast, but all of them just appeared to not be having to try that hard. I could be wrong, but it just didn’t seem like anyone was really trying to show off comically or emotionally. 

The score is pretty decent and the soundtrack is a lot of fun which does compliment the rest of the film. This is all shot in daylight so there is never really a lighting issue. 

If you hold this up to the mirror of other shark films it actually holds up to anything below the TOP 30 or so. It is a pretty fun watch and if you come to these movies for things other than sharks there are also a lot of attractive people, so theirs that.

I give this one a 3 out of 7. I don’t really see myself watching it again. 

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