THE MACHINE (2023)

THE MACHINE (2023)

Tagline: To be a hero, it takes a lot of gut.

(Action, Comedy, Vanya Had It Coming) [R]

Everybody's gotta die sometime.

In this one, a comedian named Bert ends up having his antics go so badly that he retires from comedy and doing wild acts on video, and starts getting counseling. While throwing his daughter's 16th birthday party, Bert and his father are taken hostage by a Russian mob boss's daughter named Irina. Irina is determined to get a watch that Bert last saw while in Russia 20 years earlier during a train robbery. 

I ended up seeing this movie last night, and to be honest, when it came out, I didn’t even bother watching the preview. I ended up seeing it while watching another movie. So I am looking for movies to check out and just on a whim decided to see this. I was kind of impressed at how they managed to give this thing a warm-hearted tone in the end when the film is mostly focused on an overhyped drunken clown and his father who is really also pretty much a jerk. 

The humor in this works on most levels, but some of it is overly crass and really didn’t need to be. The action sequences are actually really well done. The story is largely told in flashbacks to 20 years early when Bret was in Russia the first time and gets into how he became such a legend there. 

If I am talking about the single best thing in this movie I have to go with Irina. It’s pretty bizarre that the best character in this entire movie is a Russian mob boss’s daughter who really just wants her father’s watch. Her relationship with Bert “The Machine” kind of makes this film and gives it the depth it needed to avoid just being another forgettable action comedy. Iva Babic plays Irina in this and just absolutely crushes the role. To be honest, if she isn’t being considered for more American films after this I would be shocked. I did not like either of the leads. To be honest, I really didn’t care about Bert or his family. They all seemed like totally selfish idiots that will likely end up in prison for drug possession or hitting and killing someone innocent while drunk driving. Bert was played by Bert Kreischer who is mostly known for partying in real life and his shirtless standup comedy. I have never seen any of it and have zero desire to. From what I have read, this movie is based mostly on antidotes from Bert’s standup comedy. Mark Hamill (STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI) is in this as Albert, Bret’s father. Mark does a great job in the role, but Albert was a terrible character which is not shocking because nearly everyone is a terrible character. If I had to pick a second favorite character, I would go with Igor played by Nikola Djuricko. Nikola is probably best known for playing Yuri in STRANGER THINGS (Season 4). Robert Maaser (MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: ROGUE NATION) also does a decent job in this playing another menacing character, named Alexei (he’s kind of known for that). 

The sets and cinematography are great and we also get a pretty fantastic score. As I stated earlier I was impressed that they got the heart into the film that they did. It does seem like a one-off film with no follow-up planned, but Irina would be very well suited as a character in the JOHN WICK or MISSION IMPOSSIBLE world. Overall there were some pretty funny moments and shockingly I enjoyed most of this film with the exception of a couple of scenes. I think this is a bit of a sleeper, I haven’t seen much of anything out there about this movie, but if you can shut your brain off for a bit, this thing has its moments. 

THE MACHINE gets a 4 out of 7. It should also be noted that the violence is extremely intense, so if that isn’t for you, definitely sidestep this one. 

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF SHAKEN NOT STIRRED AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY.