THE LITTLE MERMAID (2023)

THE LITTLE MERMAID (2023)

Tagline: Be a part of her world.

(Adventure, Ocean People Doing Ocean Stuff, We Need to Talk About Ursula) [PG]

Don't be held back by what you think should be. Think of only what is.

In this one, King Triton’s youngest daughter Ariel dreams of going to the surface after becoming disillusioned with her life under the sea. After an encounter with a human named Eric, she gets more desperate to go to the surface and makes a deal with a sea witch named Ursula. For three days she is given legs to walk on land but must get a kiss of true love or she will have to come back to the sea as a mermaid. 

First off, the opening description of the film is purposely vague. There are a few changes from the original but it keeps the spirit of the original film. 

If I have any complaints, it’s only that Sebastian and Flounder look so freaking awful. Seriously Flounder is nightmare fuel and just seeing him ruined a bunch of scenes for me. I did find myself getting used to Sebastian over the course of the film, but I really wish they had gone with some different design choices on these two. One other issue I had was that Eric’s second song was great, but also just seemed like it was put in there just to make the film longer. Ariel’s second song was also pretty lackluster. Then finally – one of the underlying messages in the movie’s final act was questionable as hell. Under no circumstances should children be able to make the decisions. They should be heard, but until they are out of your house and adults, they don’t get to make the decisions in any functional home anywhere. If your home is dysfunctional, then that’s a different conversation. Just in general as advice, don't be a clown just in case you end up with kids that need sound decision-making skills out of you. In actual abuse cases, children may need to make a move. It’s just a really jacked-out message to have in a kid's film. There is also another weird and unnecessary thing in this movie that was a bit odd, that had to do with the spell, but this isn’t a spoiler review. Generally speaking, I like Melissa McCarthy (GHOSTBUSTERS), but she didn’t crush this role for me. I thought the song “Pour Unfortunate Souls” was decent, but she seemed genuinely uninterested in being part of this project to me when it comes to delivering her lines. The ending is also pretty freakin cringe, but none of this stuff was enough to change my rating for this movie. 

When we get to what is good about this thing a lot of the complaints were about the CGI itself. I’m sorry, but I didn’t have any issues with it. To me, this was a LOT like when AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER came out. The still from that movie looked like lifeless crap to me. Then when the movie actually came out my opinion changed. It’s the same here. The actual movie has really good CGI and the stills just didn’t do the movie any justice. I wasn’t familiar with Halle Bailey before this and I have to say, as much as I liked the original THE LITTLE MERMAID, Halle crushes this role in every aspect imaginable and her singing is the kind of stuff that hits you right in the feels. I had heard good things about her performance before I saw the film and I walked out blown away. Jonah Hauer-King was solid as Eric and I thought his two songs were good. The first one on the ship definitely seemed to be Disney trying to channel Kirk Douglas and his “On a Ship” song from 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA. Javier Bardem (PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES) is also solid in this as he usually is. So overall we got a pretty good main cast and all of the other talents involved were fine. 

In regards to the pacing, I thought this was pretty well evened out. We get a couple of big action sequences that kind of sandwich the main story while the film takes its time to put on all the fixings. Overall whatever weird crap Disney wants to do to your kids, or shove in front of your kids in the coming years, THE LITTLE MERMAID is an absolute gem that honors the original and even improves on it in certain situations. It particular film is not the problem. It's actually a fantastic effort.  

This one gets a solid 5 out of 7. I also got emotional during this thing because it brings me back in time. I also get that some people thought this thing was “woke”. I didn’t get that at all. If anything there is a pro-marriage, pro-accepting things as they are, and a pro-masculine message here. Like with any film you can cram a bunch of stuff that really isn’t there into the context if you want but don’t. Sit back and enjoy. 

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF LUCAMAR PRODUCTIONS AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY.