FIRENADO (2023)

FIRENADO (2023)

Tagline: Nope.

(Action, A Van With HyperDrive, Tornado Made Of Fire) [R]

Note: This movie did not get an MPAA rating, but I am going to say it would have gotten an [R]. This was distributed by UNCORK’D ENTERTAINMENT which is basically a Florida-based distribution company churning out low-budget overseas films.

I’ll never trust you again Devlin…anyway, we’ve got more pressing matters.  

In this one, Dr. Devlin and his assistants meddled with mother nature and turned a regular tornado into an F5 tornado using a magnetic device, and now it's on fire. Realizing what they have done after one of them is killed they rush around the countryside warning everyone in the area of the oncoming danger. One of the houses they run into is in the process of being robbed by armed men trying to steal money from a mob boss's home while he is out of town.

If you are ready for mostly cheesy CGI, spots of overacting, bad science, and a script that borrows from every other movie you have ever seen, this thing is for you. I am a Sian Altman (CROC!) fan, so I was already going to watch this thing, but if you tell me there is a tornado in a movie that is always a draw for me. Performance wise this is a good one for Sian who plays Anna. No one is getting an Oscar here, but if you are making a B-movie, Sian is one of those actresses you can count on to deliver a gritty performance without overacting. The chemistry between her and a character named Pierce (played by Daniel Godfrey) is pretty solid, especially for a low-budget movie. I wasn’t crazy about Toby Wynn-Davies’s performance in this, but he does have a Dr. Loomis from HALLOWEEN quality about him. He is probably most famous for being the narrator of the horror film WINNE THE POOH: BLOOD AND HONEY. Nicola Wright (TOP SECRET!) is decent but not great in this. Having said all that, this is far from the worst acting I’ve seen in an UNCORK’D film. 

There is a pretty janky scene in this where Pierce gets up off the couch and shows a bit of butt crack. I don’t know how else to say it more politely. I think there are a few schools of thought here. One would be that as directors Rhys Frake-Waterfield and Scott Jeffrey might have wanted to have the film feel more natural. Basically trying to show that in these situations you might have pants that don’t fit properly and that butt is going to partly show, why hide it? Then the other would be that you just have this dude that is rich with inheritance and makes money from the mob just have a pair of pants that fits. I mean, it’s just a shot in the dark. 

Probably my biggest issue with this movie is what we don’t get. Most of the tornado shots are not “fire” tornado-looking. They are just red. A lot of the lighting is way off, especially in the final sequence at Pierce’s mansion. We also don’t get any firenado over a city, so don’t get your hopes up. A lot of these low-budget flicks just put a rad poster out there to get you to stream the title or in some cases show up at the theater.

Overall when it comes to B-movies this is actually not that terrible, it just isn’t what it looks like it’s going to be. Expect low-budget nonsense with no real quality production and you might have a bit of fun with this. The characters are likable enough. 

This one gets a 3 out of 7. A few oversights and a pretty weak ending sucked this thing right out of getting a 4. 

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF DARK ABYSS PRODUCTIONS AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY.