THE PLANETS AROUND US (1962)

THE PLANETS AROUND US (1962)

Tagline: Nope. 

(Sci-Fi, Drama, Petty Snobs) [PG]

Note: This movie was not given an MPAA rating, but I think with some of the horror elements it would have landed at a [PG]. 

They're just a bunch of petty snobs, don’t you agree? 

In this one, a flying saucer comes to earth and forces the son of a scientist to crash-land his plane killing him. All he did was fly his plain out in the desert, and bam, now he’s got a cyborg replacement. The cyborg’s mission is to scout earth before aliens from its planet invade the earth. His name is Bronco and man this metallic hunk of metal with android flesh is a ladies' man. So you know...watch out! 

Oh man, this movie is pretty damn nuts. This cyborg dude Bronco can fry you like a burnt piece of bacon if you even touch him and he doesn’t want you to. He also has the ability to travel anywhere in the world in seconds. I also find it pretty hilarious that chicks just fall all over this guy. First Audrey, then Marina, they are just all about this dude. Granted, he does have some sort of mind power as well.

It’s kind of hard to really critique Michel Lemoine’s role as Bronco in this because he is purposely playing a stoic cyborg who isn’t supposed to show emotion. If we compared his role to a 1990’s Ford Bronco, then I would say the Ford Bronco would have managed to have more of an on-screen presence than Lemoine in this. Outside of that, Jany Clair does a decent job as Audrey Bradbury even if Audrey is trying to have an affair with a freakin cyborg, but she does not get much screen time. Jany was best known for HERCULES AGAINST THE MOON MEN. We also get Maria Pia Luzi in this as Marina, but her screen time is also short-lived. The rest of the characters are pretty stock Italian officials and military characters who aren’t challenged to act all that much other than to try and figure out how to get rid of the cyborgs. Wait a minute…did I say, cyborgs? Yes…yes, I did, because not surprisingly if you are going to invade earth, you need more than one cyborg. 

The pacing in this thing is really slow which would be tolerable if there was more going on. The other major issue is that the dialog outside of a few boardroom meetings where the generals are having discussions is barely tolerable. The script would be fine if this was a student film, but it feels extremely base and like it’s mostly there just to be there, not to really advance the plot.

When it comes to the effects we do get some late in the movie and this is where more of the horror elements hit the screen. Because this is in black and white, it doesn’t look too gory, and the fact that all of the effects, in general, are pretty janky even for the 60s I can’t say by today’s standards anyone would be frightened. In one of the scenes, the cyborg is driving with what looks to be some sort of mud mask you might find a woman using, it’s meant to be scary, at least the way it’s done here, it really isn’t. 

This movie does break the 4th wall at one point which is always kind of cool, but outside of a few cool-looking scenes at the end the storyline and film are lackluster. For me, this wasn’t worth its 85-minute run time to watch more than once. However, I can’t say it wasn’t interesting, so I will give it a 3 out of 7.

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF WANGUARD FILM AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY.