SNOW MONSTER (2019)

SNOW MONSTER (2019)

Tagline: Your deepest fear will eat you alive

(Action, Adventure, Godzilla Should Be Fighting This Thing) [PG]

Note: This movie was not given an MPAA rating, but it would have gotten an [PG]. The movie was also marketed as SNOW MONSTER VS ICE SHARK. 

Are you sure that it’s not just volcanic activity?

This story revolves around a small tribe of people in the Arctic dating back before the Qi Dynasty and their balance with nature. The area has geothermal and radioactivity levels that allow for massive creatures to exist. Namely giant ice sharks and a giant snow monster with freakin ram horns and a tail. As modern science collides with this unexpected environment can both co-exist or will Shen Yiqin and her fellow explorers be sent to icy graves?

In the US, this movie came out with the name SNOW MONSTER VS ICE SHARK, but to be honest, that name is pretty dumb for this because while there are ice sharks, there are multiple ice sharks that are all much smaller than the SNOW MONSTER.

One rad thing about this movie and others like LAND SHARK is that they feature some amazing CGI and some really bad CGI all at the same time. It seems like they took great effort to do the ice sharks for instance, but there are some really goofy-looking shots of the snow monster. Having said, that, there are some good ones as well. This storyline ends up being a little bit INDIANA JONES, a little bit KING KONG and a lot of cheesy action sequences that defy all logic. Then again, I didn’t watch a movie called SNOW MONSTER looking for a physics lesson or a storyline where all the pieces fit perfectly into some scientific theory notebook. There are two scenes where a bunch of guys fall hundreds of feet and don’t get injured, so if that’s not for you, then skip this. 

Some of the concepts in this film are really cool including these bird-like cave creatures that will drill a hole in your head if you make too much noise. The ice shark designs are a lot like the LAND SHARK we get in LAND SHARK, and the SNOW MONSTER does remind me a LOT of King Caesar from TOHO, only more like a snow cousin of his without the ornate chest plates. I also thought some of the little touches they put in this thing like a dude that has an alarm clock that wakes him up by saying “handsome, get up and make money”. It’s pretty hilarious. 

Acting wise everyone is pretty good as far as I can tell, but the dubbing in the English version does throw some of these characters off. The main actress is Yongxian Zhang who plays Shen Yiqin. In the movie, she ends up getting taken in by the arctic tribe. We also get Juncheng Wu who plays Ren Yifei. Ren is basically the bad a-s of the search party. I think they brought him along because he will kick your teeth in if he needs to. Yongbo Jiang probably gets the third most lines as Heng Li. He isn’t who we think he is when the movie starts out. 

The sets and costumes are pretty awesome. I also liked the pacing. Where the story gets a little shaky isn’t in the fact that they are dealing with a snow beast and ice sharks, it’s the fact that this tribe only calls this snow beast to come around once a year on the 3rd day of the 12th lunar month. Yes, they bring it up in the movie and it’s that specific. I think I would have just cut this out of the script, or had them mention that they waited for that day or something like that. As it is, it just seems very odd, that this tribe is summoning the snow beast on a day when a ton of dudes with guns are there. 

I know this movie gets a ton of flack online, but I liked it so much that I bought it. Yes, it does have flaws, but it still manages to be more entertaining and has cooler ideas than most of what studios in this genre are doing right now. It also does have a storyline and a bit of a touching one at that. I will say that I would not have wanted to date the girl that you have to fight, and if you lose, she cuts off one of your fingers. That isn’t a way to get off to a healthy relationship. I don’t care how hot “Fatty,” thought she was. Yes, there is a character in here that they repeatedly call “Fatty”. 

For me, this lands at a solid 6 out of 7. Some better rendering in the CGI on the snow beat and using some “real” explosions would have helped this thing out.
 

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