TIME WALKER (1982)

TIME WALKER (1982)

Tagline: For eons, they traveled the galaxies. For centuries one was trapped in a Pharaoh's tomb. Now he is free.

(Horror, Sci-Fi, Alien Mummy On The Rampage) [PG]

Suppose that was because it didn’t come from earth…

In this one, a University archeology team finds a sarcophagus and brings it back to the United States from Egypt. Remember, if you find something that is going to kill everyone in another country, you ALWAYS take it to the United States immediately. One night a student sneaks into where the sarcophagus is being displayed and steals some jewels out of it. On top of that, anyone that touches the goo coming out of the sarcophagus ends up in the hospital slowly being eaten alive by the goo. Meanwhile, just as the school is ready to reveal what’s inside, the mummy inside is now gone. Something very alien is going on and this space mummy is leaving death in its tracks. Can Prof. Douglas McCadden stop the madness of the TIME WALKER?

First off, for me, this movie had a bunch of elements that I like about 80s horror. We get everything from goofy 80s college parties, to the worst-looking mummy alien thing you have ever seen, to provolone music, bad 8-bit computer graphics, and mozzarella-topped dialog. It’s pretty glorious. On top of that, we get minor parts played by the likes of James Karen (RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD) and Shari Belafonte (THE PLAYER) which is awesome, and also astonishingly 80s. 

Acting wise this movie is loaded with some actual serious efforts which actually ratchets up the cheese in a way. We did kind of get a movie that presented a similar idea when STARGATE came out. Ben Murphy who plays Prof. Douglas McCadden in this outshines the rest of the cast doing an outstanding job when you match his effort up against anyone else in this film. Murphy stopped acting in 2010 but was best known for his multiple appearances in Love Boat’s 7-year TV run. We also get a heavy amount of Nina Axelrod who plays Susie Fuller. Axelrod was also in the 80s horror flick MOTEL HELL and early 90s CRITTERS 3.  

Apparently, because this apparently going to be a TV show but it never got off the ground. The MPAA didn’t feel the need to really have an R rating even with brief nudity which was pretty rare even for the 80s. We do get told that the story is “to be continued” but we never got a second movie. This is a horror flick but when you start to layer on the cheese it makes this movie less scary aside from a few scenes where we see the effects of the goo on people. The alien mummy itself looks so janky it almost feels like everyone in this thing is being chased by a Goodwill Employee promoting the store's costume section. It’s pretty rough, even for the 80s and the green goo stuff that is on this mummy is clearly someone going nuts with tempura paints. 

Overall this is a fairly fun movie with too many lulls to really keep the story moving as quickly as I would have liked. As a result, this feels like it’s longer than 83 minutes. There is a side story in this about the stolen crystals that is an effective way to explain what the alien mummy is trying to do, but there is almost zero character development so it’s hard to really care about even the characters we see a lot of. 

I have to give this one a 4 out of 7 just for having the guts to think outside of the box and give me the cheese I always want in an 80s horror movie.

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF BYZANTINE PRODUCTIONS AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY. 

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