BLOODY NEW YEAR (1987)

BLOODY NEW YEAR (1987)

Tagline: The last day of the year...or the last day of your life

(Horror, Mystery, Sci-Fi) [R]

We’ve gotta get out of this place!

In this one we find out that in 1959 a scientific experiment stopped time at an island apparently very few people ever go to, and when they do they don’t come back. Fast forward to some time in the ’80s where a group of 6 friends are enjoying riding the rides at an amusement park when some of the ride operations start screwing with them. After a narrow escape, they end up crashing their boat (yes a boat) on a remote island. They seek refuge at the Grand Island Hotel where they suddenly realize the place is full-blown haunted. Can they escape before the island kills them off one by one?

First off, let’s cover what is good about this movie. I actually loved the British accents. This might be one of maybe 3 or 4 British horror flicks I have ever seen. Nikki Brooks who plays Janet in this can actually act, but the entire cast is pretty unknown which for me is never a bad thing when it comes to 80’s horror. This movie hits on a famous horror troupe of completely ignoring the DANGER KEEP OUT signs. This movie pays homage to I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF and even has some footage of FIEND WITHOUT A FACE. Also, it takes a mere 24 minutes for something smart to be said. I mean, come on, this is a horror flick, sometimes you can go a full 90 to 100 minutes with nothing smart said. 

I also liked that none of the characters were unlikable. We don’t get any jerks in this movie that are main characters. That can’t be said for other flicks like ROCKTOBER BLOOD and HIDE AND GO SHRIEK. In fact, the characters in ROCKTOBER BLOOD were so terrible I didn’t even make it 30 minutes into that nightmare. I have to be rooting for at least one character or even find the villain’s backstory interesting to follow the characters or care about what happens next. This one has a lot of stuff coming at you, I mean we’ve gotta look out for random winter storms that sound like cats happening in your hotel room, attack vacuums, violent pinball machines….wait…is this MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE? 

Score wise this movie has some great 80’s beat tracks as well as some standard horror ambiance. The songs in the soundtrack of the movie are actually pretty comical. We get the same song to start the movie that finishes it, but it actually helps this thing feel like it was maybe at least slightly aware of all the corn it was flinging around for 90 minutes. 

So what sucked about this movie? Sadly the plot doesn’t make any damn sense at all. Outside of the scientific experiment (that really isn’t even a spoiler), there is just a TON of other nonsense that goes on in this movie that doesn’t make any sense at all. You can tell reviewers have checked out of a movie when they get simple plot points completely wrong. Like not even being able to count how many people were on the boat to the island. I mean, I get it if the boat was the Titanic or even a yacht, but wow. 

For me, this is loaded with campy cheese and normally I’d love that, but you have to at least give us a script that makes some sort of sense. When I say cheese, the effects are definitely backyard 8-millimeter stuff in some scenes, but there are some decent ones. This film is so off the wall and lacks so much explanation that it’s almost hard to watch, but it does have some odd qualities for those willing to take a stroll on the oddball 80’s horror path. For me, this is a 3 out of 7. 

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF LAZER ENTERTAINMENT AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY. 

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