ROCK OF AGES (2012)

ROCK OF AGES (2012)

Tagline:  Nothin' but a good time.

(Comedy, Drama, Musical) [PG-13]

Um... nothing! You're overthinking it! Look, names that end in 'Z' are very popular among the 14-21 audience. We did a whole focus group on this. Numbers don't lie.

In this one, a small-town girl named Sherrie (played by Julianne Hough) decides to try and make it in the big city. She runs into a guy named Drew (played by Diego Boneta probably best known for TERMINATOR: DARK FATE). He shows her the ropes at a club he works at after talking the owners into giving her a job. This is all happening at the twilight of the “glam rock” era in Los Angeles and the movie's main focus is the dying club's last-ditch effort to pay the bills and stay in business as their main draw “glam rock bands” fade in popularity. Can washed-up un-motivated Stacee Jaxx (played by Tom Cruise) save the day or will the consistent pressure to shut down from the likes of Governor Whitmore (played by Bryan Cranston known for GODZILLA) and Patricia Whitmore (played by Catherine Zeta-Jones) or will rock finally die and be replaced by an endless barrage of auto-tuned boy bands.?

So in grade school and high school, the music in this movie is basically what I grew up on. We don’t get a lot of metal if any in this movie, but the songs chosen were huge at the time and many to this day are timeless. For that reason alone, it’s worth watching this movie. It’s a well done evenly paced musical with tons of nostalgia wrapped around the overindulgence of the ’80s and early ’90s. The movie itself takes place in 1987 but in what was probably an oversight, includes several songs that came out after 1987...because of some Doctor Who crap or whatever.

The movie also decides to closely mirror the actual events regarding metal, glam bands, etc., and the efforts to censor them (which came to a noteworthy head in 1985 when Dee Snider of TWISTER SISTER testified before congress). However, none of this takes the fun out of the movie. It’s all done with as little levity as possible. It is all pretty over the top but in a largely fun way. Oddly probably the worst part of this movie is Stacey Jaxx himself. Tom Cruise is decent in the role (I guess he was trying to mimic Jim Morrison and Axl Rose), but the character is a bit tedious for most of the movie's run time. He does get some inspiration from a reporter named Constance Sack (played by  Malin Akerman who is famous for THE FINAL GIRLS) that basically starts off going off on him. 

Script wise there are some odd choices in this thing, especially concerning Drew, but overall it does feel fairly balanced. Apparently, Alec Baldwin hated the movie so much he disowned it. He plays the club owner Dennis Dupree. I always find disowning movies extremely odd. It’s like making a burger at Jack In The Box with too much mayo, serving it, getting the money from the customer, and then saying… “wait, actually, that isn’t a Jack In The Box burger and I don’t take responsibility for making it. Sure dude. 

Anyway – I actually liked this movie quite a bit and bought it. For me, the cast was less important than the music. It’s not a movie I rave about a ton or need to watch regularly, but among the musicals, I actually like this one is probably in the TOP 5. If you don’t take this too seriously, and you will have a shot at enjoying at least the nostalgia. 

I give ROCK OF AGES a 4 out of 7. I really don’t give a crap if Alex Baldwin really does have a stick up his butt about it.

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