SECRET ADMIRER (1985)

SECRET ADMIRER (1985)

Tagline: She's hot for you and you haven't got a clue...

(Comedy, Romance, The Problem with Just Assuming Things) [R].

I can't believe this! You can't even trust your own parents anymore. I'm gonna get a guard dog and a bazooka.

In this one 16-year-old Michael finds an unsigned letter in his locker on the last day of school. His friend Toni tells him she thinks the letter may be from Deborah who is a girl that Michael has a massive crush on. He then enlists Toni to start giving Deborah letters back, only they are so bad that Toni recrafts them herself to make Michael look better. It doesn’t take long before the original letter makes the rounds and leads to miscommunication, turmoil, and other weirdness between Deborah and Michael’s parents. Will Michael ever find out who his real secret admirer is?

First off, when this flick came out in the 80s, not only did I not see it, I never even heard of it. One great thing about streaming services and having channels on Pluto that show nothing but 80’s movies is that every once in a while you stand a chance of running into an almost gem like this thing. The most recognizable star in this movie is the maligned Lori Loughlin (AMITYVILLE 3-D) who in spite of her legal issues is still getting roles, so I guess that’s good? I don’t wish her any ill will. This thing was 3 years before Loughlin made it big in 1988 in her role as Becky on TV’s Full House. She does a pretty solid job as Toni in this and I thought she had pretty great chemistry with C. Thomas Howell (RED DAWN) who played Michael. 

As far as the plot goes this ends up being a twist on Cyrano de Bergerac’s work, but with a twist, because the “satellite love” model ends up affecting unintended people negatively. I thought the pacing was pretty good, but there is a section in the 3rd act that feels over the top given the parameters in this film. I am not saying it got way out there, as in an alien landed and started shooting eggs at everyone’s houses that dried and turned into baby zombie chickens, but it did throw off the pace. 

One interesting thing this film highlights is that the girl that gets the guy, in the end, has depth. She isn’t the stereotypical girl that I think most writers trying to avoid writing these days. The difference is that this girl isn’t written as a dude. She is still feminine, and she does feminine things, but she can identify with the things that men would enjoy because she allows herself to enjoy them too, she’s well-rounded as a woman (or a teen in this case) but she isn’t written as a man. I think a lot of writers that are purposely trying to write strong females miss the mark and end up just writing a dude and having them played by a woman. 

Anyway – I am not complaining when I say this, I am just stating that effective writing allows men to be masculine, women to be feminine, and humor to just be humor. I loved all that about this flick. Having said that, it’s not as good as some of the other relationship comedies from the 80s which is probably why I had never heard of it till today. This movie features a few other interesting cast members. This was Corey Haim’s second movie he ever starred in. It also has Dee Wallace who at the time was a massive star and Kelly Preston who was probably best known for CHRISTINE at the time. 

Overall this is a pretty fun romp for an 80’s comedy romance and it does have a fantastic soundtrack featuring Autograph, Kim Wilde, and Klymaxx among others. I am a little surprised it wasn’t a bigger deal when it came out. Apparently, someone remembered it though, the movie is apparently plagiarized nearly line for line in VASOS DE PAPEL which came out in 2016.

Also just remember, in the 80s it was totally fine to break someone's nose and take their car, and even beat the crap out of their van with zero repercussions. Ahh, the glory days.  

SECRET ADMIRER gets a solid 5 out of 7. It’s on par with SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL, but not quite as good as CAN’T BUY ME LOVE or SAY ANYTHING. 

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