VAMPIRES SUCK (2010)

VAMPIRES SUCK (2010)

Tagline: From the guys who couldn't sit through another vampire movie!

(Horror, Spoof, Vampires) [PG-13]

Every time I bring a girl over, you try to eat her! It's not fair!

This is a pretty straightforward spoof of the TWILIGHT movie series (or at least the first 2 films). Frank Crane’s daughter Becca Crane comes back to her hometown of Spork, WA. Becca slowly realizes the town is loaded with vampires and that her dad is actually friends with a werewolf clan that includes Jacob White who she has known for years, but had revealed his werewolf-ness. She ends up falling in love with a vampire named Edward Sullen who is basically a downer personified. Loving a vampire presents its own problems, and comedy and danger ensue. 

As it turns out director Jason Friedberg has directed 5 spoofs that are directed at a single movie. Of those, SUPER FAST (a spoof of THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS) got the best critical reception, but all of the films were universally panned. I guess they all made money though? You typically don’t get to keep directing spoofs if everyone hates them. I have seen MEET THE SPARTANS (a spoof of 300), THE STARVING GAMES (a spoof of THE HUNGER GAMES), and this one. I think this was the best of the 3 I have seen, but make no mistake about it; most critics think all of the stuff from Friedberg sucks. To an extent, they are spot on. VAMPIRES SUCK is definitely an acquired taste. One thing I noticed watching this is that after about the first 45 minutes, this thing really goes sideways and loses its best humor. 

I actually think Jenn Proske (AMBULANCE) nailed the role of Becca Crane and I am really happy she’s still getting plenty of work because she actually is an underrated actress. Diedrich Bader (OFFICE SPACE) is solid as Frank Crane, but mostly because his brand of comedy fit the role perfectly. Matt Lanter (SORORITY ROW) makes a perfect Edward in this and it’s cool to see that he has also been getting a ton of work. These days he is mostly known for voice work. Chris Riggi (A SPY MOVIE) plays the role of Jacob and I felt he fit the role but wasn’t given much to do. He maybe gets 6 minutes of screen time in the whole movie. The rest of the cast was fine for what this is, but the material they were given in the second half of this movie just drops off so badly, I couldn’t wait for it to end. 

I think there is a chance I might have watched this once or twice before but couldn’t remember it. The reason I ended up doing a review is that a local video store was having a $1.00 DVD sale. I ended up randomly selecting about 15 or so and happened to grab this one. I will probably end up watching it again because the first half or so is actually pretty funny. The score is actually surprisingly not horrible.

This thing definitely isn’t for everyone and it is way off par when compared to actual comedy classics, so if you are going to sink your teeth into this nonsense. Expect just that, total nonsense. Also, just a heads up if you have pc sensibilities, this thing is not going to be for you. It contains “some” actual humor that doesn’t really care what I think, or you think, or any of it. 

Overall this is a 3 out of 7 guilty pleasure, but I am not going to recommend it or “not” recommend it. It’s really just okay. 

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