DOLLS (1987)

DOLLS (1987)

Tagline: You're never too old to play with dolls until you're dead.

(Horror, Creepy, Did I Say Creepy?) [R]

What do you want from me? I'm seven years old.

In this one, Rosemary and David Bower are taking David’s biological daughter Judy somewhere when a storm comes out of nowhere. They end up in a pothole in the road and can’t get out. They decide to seek help at a mansion up the road where an elderly couple invites them in. Meanwhile, Ralph is also in the area when he sees two punk rock chicks that the Bowers passed up earlier. He picks them up and they also stop by the mansion to get out of the storm. The elderly couple just happens to own lots of porcelain dolls created by Gabriel, the elderly man. As the night moves along, our 5 unsuspecting guests are going to find out about the dolls that go bump in the night. 

First off, this thing is glorious 80’s cheese that I can’t believe I never saw till this year. Charles Band produced this and would go on to work on an entire series called PUPPER MASTER involving killer dolls, but this one never got my attention till recently. On top of those layers of cheese, we get a dose of creepy 80’s nightmare fuel including dolls kind of like Chucky being organic inside, only they are porcelain or cloth rather than having a plastic outer coating. 

All the effects in the film are practical having the dolls move using a combination of marionettes, stop-motion animation, and animatronics. The pacing is pretty solid and the film is definitely helped out by the fact that it’s only 77 minutes long. 

One thing that is fantastic about this movie is that they take time to give us strong characters. The elderly couple is wildly creepy, but also oddly kind. The two punk girls are both rowdy, but Enid actually has a little heart. Ralph is kind and somewhat childlike. Judy is brave, but still a child in need of real friends. Rosemary and David are just over-the-top terrible people. That contrasts just all work, it’s like something I was trying to write into my script “Mireya’s Forest”. This element of the film makes it richer than it had a right to be. By the way, if you have ever seen Aha’s video “Take On Me”, the girl in that video plays Isabel in this movie. Her name is Bunty Bailey and she would continue acting till 2008. Her other horror flick was 1988’s SPELLCASTER. 

Getting to the rest of the cast we have Cassie Stuart (AMADEUS) who plays the more likable punk girl Enid. Ian Patrick Williams (ROBOT JOX) plays David, probably somewhere in that Top 50 worst fictional fathers ever list. Williams co-star in ROBOT JOX Carolyn Purdy-Gordon plays his wife Rosemary in this. She’s another character I can’t stand, but Carolyn crushed the role. Carrie Lorraine does a great job as Judy in this, especially for a kid, but for some reason, this was the last film she ever did as an actress. She did resurface in entertainment to work as a production manager on the short film “LITTLE SPOON”. Stephen Lee (WAR GAMES) is great as Ralph. Definitely my favorite character in this, but that is partly because he is the only other person in the movie aside from Judy that isn’t a jerk. Guy Rolfe the elderly doll maker in this also does a fantastic job as Gabriel. Rolfe would go on to play Toulon in the cult hit PUPPET MASTER series. 

The sets in this are all wonderful and aside from the insides of these dolls, this one isn’t overly gory. I actually liked the story quite a bit. 

The moral here is, never stay at a house loaded with DOLLS, even if they aren’t super creepy. If you do, definitely don’t be a total jerk. This would be a great addition to any Halloween horror-o-thon. I give this one a solid 6 out of 7. It’s vastly superior to the 2019 version also called DOLLS. Having said that, I don’t know if the 2019 version was meant to be a remake of this, but rather a movie with an extremely similar principal. 

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