THE GREAT WALL (2017)

THE GREAT WALL (2017)

Tagline: One of mankind's greatest wonders. 1700 years to build. 5500 miles long. What were they trying to keep out?

(Adventure, Fantasy, Beasts From The Freakin Desert) [PG-13].

Look at this army... have you ever seen anything like this?

In this one, a secret army called “The Nameless Order”, is preparing for a massive battle against a seemingly invincible hoard of alien creatures coming from the desert called the Tao Tei. The aliens come every 60 years, but they are getting smarter and smart and attacking in waves. Meanwhile, mercenaries named William and Tovar are allowed to live once inside the way because they were able to kill one of the Tao Tei. It doesn’t take long before the leaders of the secret army start to see the value of the mercenary's fighting skills. Commander Lin Mae now faces the challenge of embracing the strangers, imprisoning them or granting them freedom just days before the hoard surprises everyone. 

Over the years I have come to embrace a lot of Chinese films. They tend to not shy away from masculinity, honor, and a sacrificial attitude towards each other among other qualities that seem to be pretty much bashed by more and more films made in the U.S. and the West in general. No, I am not a Chinese spy you crazy fools, but I do appreciate it when I see values actually found in the Bible showing up in pretty much any movie. 

This wasn’t just any movie when it came out. It was at one point the most expensive Chinese film ever made. In spite of that, it was plagued by accusations of whitewashing by outlets like GQ and others. This was not only an untrue accusation; it was absolute bulls—t. The character played by Matt Damon (who I don’t even like) was supposed to be a mercenary that served many flags. The role wasn’t meant to be a Chinese character anyway. Now even though the movie flopped in the U.S., worldwide, it did make over double its budget. Surely this wasn’t what the studio wanted, but it wasn’t as much of a disaster as some might think. Yimou Zhang has gone on to direct several more films since this one with two that haven’t been released yet. This is another case where being overly sensitive, taking on victimhood for others, and getting bent out of shape over stuff that doesn’t matter to anyone else, makes people look like idiots. 

THE GREAT WALL is a really fantastic movie with incredible design work. I have zero doubt that it at least partly influenced the creatures we see in ETERNALS. The set designs are digital, but they look freakin mind-blowing. The ornate costume designs are over-the-top immaculate. On top of all that we got a decent cast with Matt Damon (who I can’t stand as I mentioned earlier), Willem Dafoe (SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME), who I can give or take, and Pedro Pascal (WONDER WOMAN 1984) who is hit and miss. The great part of the cast was nearly everyone else but especially Tian Jing (PACIFIC RIM: UPRISING) who really shined in the role of Commander Lin Mae. Andy Lau (HOUSE OF THE FLYING DAGGERS) was great as Strategist Wang. Hanyu Zhang (A WORLD WITHOUT THIEVES) was solid in the screen time he was given as General Shao. Then to round out the top cast Han Lu (THE WITNESS) was more than adequate as Peng Yong. 

If I have any complaints about this thing, it’s that a weakness is given to the creatures that always annoy me in movies. It’s actually a common thing, not just in this film. I have seen some complaints about the lackluster storyline, but I didn’t have any issue with that at all. I love this kind of stuff and we got a lot of really epic characters. This thing is a blast that sadly slipped under the radar due to some over-jealous crap. Here’s a tip. Never listen to over-jealous crap. 

THE GREAT WALL gets a solid 6 out of 7. It’s simply astonishing. 

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF LEGENDARY EAST AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY.