TERROR TRAIN (2022)

TERROR TRAIN (2022)

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(Horror, Mystery, Nobody Rides For Free) [R]

Note: This movie was not given a rating by the MPAA. If it came out today, it would likely land a [R] due to language and brief nudity. This movie was made by Incend Productions but was launched on the Tubi streaming service as a Tubi original. 

In this one, a group of college kids plays a macabre prank on a kid named Kenny trying to get into a sorority. The prank goes poorly and Kenny ends up in a panic that lands him in a hospital. Fast forward to 3 years later and the college kids are all now seniors getting on a Halloween-themed party train for the night. Rumors of what happened with the prank 3 years earlier still circulate and Alana seems to be the only one with regrets about being involved. It doesn’t take long before very particular students start getting killed one by one. In a train full of costumes the place for a killer to hide…is everywhere. 

First off, I did not love the 1980 version of this movie and not even Jamie Lee Curtis could save it. I wasn’t excited about this one and actually passed it up a few times after seeing it on the Tubi streaming service. However, last night I finally checked it out and to be honest, the first 20 minutes of this thing are pretty shaky. The acting is just okay, and the sets are all pretty cheap looking, you can just tell this one was done on a budget. That isn't the end of the story though. 

Much like the original, there just aren’t many characters to cheer for here. Everyone in this is some pompous college kid either drowning in wokeness or spiraling into moral oblivion and you kind of just can’t wait for them to get off screen one way or another. There is one exception though and that is our leading lady Alana who has morals and is competently played by Robyn Alomar. Robyn is actually a good actress and I hope she gets plenty of opportunities in the future. I will say at least her boyfriend in this “Mo” played by Corteon Moore also actually has morals as well, but both these kids just have ridiculously mean and stupid friends. Corteon does a pretty good job acting-wise in this which may have something to do with the fact that he is no stranger to horror, he was also in the “Slasher” TV series. To round out the characters that I liked I also have to point out Sadie who is new to the whole “let’s take care of guests on a train” lifestyle and is just trying to get through the night but is not afraid to pick up a full-sized axe and take care of business if she has too. Nadine Bhabha is solid in the role and is probably best known for the TV show “Letterkenny”. 

We get some actual backstories in this and it looks like almost everything on the train is using practical effects. This gives the movie a slightly old-school slasher feel and keeps it from falling into the “oh, that’s computer blood” category a lot of newer horror and monster flicks do. I will say that it takes a bit of time for things to start to develop and for the movie to find its footing, but it gets more and more intriguing as it goes on. Tim Rozon who plays the magician I don’t think is quite as creepy as David Copperfield was in the original doing the same role, but he’s definitely adequate. 

By giving us a creepy clown mask, but keeping the lizard outfit and getting rid of some of the dumber-looking costumes from the original, then by adding some personality and not overplaying the sensitivities of the 2020s this actually makes some unexpected improvements on the original. It also has a vastly superior ending. Yeah, I said it. This is coming from a dude that can’t stand many modern horror films but tries to give a few a shot anyway. 

If you liked the original TERROR TRAIN, this is a solid remake if you can just go in understanding its low budget. I liked the concepts and the approach they took with this. The twist ending is definitely something I really thought was well crafted. I got the message they cared about the source material and still wanted to give us something new. For those reasons, TERROR TRAIN gets a 5 out of 7.

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF INCENDO PRODUCTIONS AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY. 

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