CREEPOZOIDS (1987)

CREEPOZOIDS (1987)

Tagline: Move over, Aliens, here come the Creepozoids. Even if you kill them, they're still deadly.

(Horror, Sci-Fi, Movies Way In The Future) [R]

I think we're in a containment vessel, designed to keep something in, not out.

In this one, the year is 1998 after nuclear wars turned the earth into a wasteland. Small groups of survivors roamed the landscape looking for safety. A small group ends up sneaking into a government research facility where they are looking for a solution to the foot shortage crisis. The experiment was meant to allow people to make their own amino acids, but the base is overrun by one of the experiments gone haywire. Now Blanca, Jesse, Kate, Jake, and Butch must find a way to escape the…CREEPOZOIDS.

First off, most of the reviews for this thing mention scream queen Linnea Quigley who plays Blanca in this, but Quigley was also the associate producer for the movie and was expecting a script where there was even more weirdness involved. I am glad that didn’t happen because this thing is crazy enough. Where it does fail though is in the middle section of the movie. After one of the more likable characters dies, we are subjected to about 40 minutes of terrible acting and people roaming around in the dark and complaining about everything. 

Speaking of acting when you think about Linnea Quigley you are probably thinking back to the 80s and maybe 90’s, but she has 5 movies in total scheduled to come out just in 2022. She is still probably most famous for RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, but that definitely depends on who you ask. I would like to say she was good in this, but she really wasn’t. In fact, the entire cast seemed like they really didn’t want to be there. Richard L. Hawkins who plays Jake gets a lot of screen time, but he wasn’t really cut out to be a lead at the time I don’t think. He stopped acting just 4 years after this movie but does have the distinction of having a bit part in CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND. Probably the most solid performance is actually given by Kim McKamy who plays Kate. Outside of that though, this thing is expectedly rough. 

Where this thing succeeds is when it comes to the actual “creature” or “experiment” and the creepy baby creature that we see towards the end of the film. I am not sure, but this baby creature might be where TOTAL RECALL got the idea for Kuato’s look. That is about all I can say. A few of the other effects are decent, but not great. The other good thing about this movie is the title. It actually reminds me of something that someone should have reached out to Midnight Star on and asked if they could use “Freak-A-Zoid” somewhere in the movie or end credits, only have them change the word “Freak” to “Creep”. Having said that, it might have punched too much fun into this thing. 

As far as what is bad about this movie, it’s pretty much just the long dull part in the middle section. There is just a huge chunk of this thing that doesn’t have anything interesting happening. It’s so bad that even trying to do this review I checked out a few times and I am used to movies having chunks of time where not much is going on. The script is really rough and the 15-day should time didn’t do this one any favors. This movie was supposed to have a sequel, but that never happened. 

Overall I have to give this a 4 out of 7. It is what it is and when it comes to 80s alien-ish horror flicks, you could do worse. A few changes in that middle section could have gone a long way. 

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