SHARK HUNTRESS (2021)

SHARK HUNTRESS (2021)

Tagline: She wants revenge ... It wants blood.

(Drama, Plastic, A Shark Doing Shark Stuff) [R]

Note: This movie was direct to video so there was no MPAA rating. It would definitely be a PG. 

Sorry, this only happens in b-rated movies…

In this one, a girl named Sheila’s mother is killed by a random shark. She gathers up a few friends and under the deceit of throwing a “gasless boat race to raise environmental awareness” decides to try to find a random shark and kill it. She also seems to have just as much of a vendetta against plastic polluting the environment. Kind of like Starbucks and Angie’s Lobster. 

First off, everyone in this movie appears to be completely unaware that a movie is being made. They are all talking for the majority of this film like they are in an anti-plastic class for people that want to save the environment. That’s all well and good and the environment is important but damn. This is a movie called “shark hunter” not “plastic hunter”. You should also know that almost everyone reviewing this thing is going to mention the amazing poster that goes with the movie. I have to hand it to Green Apple Productions on this one. The poster is one of the better ones (but I was randomly picking shark movies anyway so it didn’t affect me). Oddly the poster for this movie is far better than 2022’s ALIEN SHARK by the same studio.

It is crazy to me how much of this movie is spent lecturing about the danger of plastic. This is not to say that there isn’t way too much plastic in the ocean, there is, but wow. Cut us some slack. We were all just trying to watch a shark flick. There is a scene in here where Guru is saying he’s seeing “sea aliens”, after getting drunk for 2 days straight. I am not sure if that was an indirect nod to ALIEN SHARK or not. It’s also kind of crazy because Guru is supposed to be the smartest most experienced person in the room, but he folds like a cheap suit after just seeing a random dead guy on the beach? By the way, John Flano who plays Guru has been in 5 movies. 

If you accidentally watch this movie, you will suddenly think that if you can play a character as “just read the lines in monotone” as Flano does, then ANYONE can be in a movie and be given lines and be considered an actor, literally anyone. Not trying to be mean, but Katrina Grey who plays Sheila is also really bad in this movie and yet still has 22 movies and TV series to her credit. This is another just grab any old people you see off the street and make a movie in 20 minutes situation. The acting is so horrendously bad, it makes Wild Eye Releasing look like they might have a clue about casting after all. To top off how freakin bad this movie is, we get several repeat shots of the same shark and I am guessing that’s stock footage. 

Needless to say, there aren’t many other movies you will find getting hammered by critics as much as this thing is. There is just really not even a single shot in this movie worth your time…or mine. 

I have to give this one a 0 out of 7. It’s not even trying. This movie is why when people try to tell me “movie x” is the worst movie ever, I am always telling them. I highly doubt you even know what “bad” really is. 

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF GREEN APPLE PRODUCTIONS AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY. 

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