TENTACLES (1977)
Tagline: It's Turning the Beach ... Into a Buffet!
(Action, Adventure, Comedy) [PG]
But now I... I can't ask anybody else, so I'm asking you to help me kill this octopus. I hope you understand that. I know I'm in your environment. I don't want it this way, but if I release ya and you go away, I want ya to know I'll understand. All right, enough said. I gotta go now. If you feel anything - you talk to me. Make some noises. I know people'll think we're crazy. Maybe we are... Maybe we are...
In this one, several people are lost at sea with their bodies basically completely eaten. Everyone in town is pretty much clueless as to what is going on but we are given hints a company that is in the area might have poisoned the underwater environment causing a freakin octopus to grow to enormous size and develop a craving for human flesh. Will the town survive this eight-tentacled menace or will it bathe the bay in blood?
Sounds like a total comedy right? Well, right now I think some are retroactively labeling it one because it’s so horrendously bad. This is coming from a dude that loves this kind of stuff. This was marketed as a rip-off of JAWS but plays out more like an episode of TV’s DYNASTY only near a bay. While the dialog does get intriguing at times, it also gets a little weird. The musical choices for this movie are wonky as hell especially during a scene where it’s clear tons of people are just getting gobbled up like soggy cereal on a Saturday morning.
The effects in parts are okay for the day, but the attack scenes are slow and clunky and basically look terrible. There is also a lot of what looks to be stock footage in this which just adds to the bottom-feeding level this movie embraces. What is even crazier is that this movie is loaded with big stars from Shelley Winters to Henry Fonda. It doesn’t feel like they set out to make a comedy or even a bad movie, it just comes across on the screen that way. In 2018 it was even featured on a German show called "SchleFaZ" that covers the worst films ever made.
I wish this thing was better than at least OCTOPUS II: RIVER OF FEAR but no. I gave that thing a 3 and this one is just a bit worse than that. If you want to watch it to make fun of it and just bask in the fact that all these actors have seen better days and better material, then it’s probably fun for that.
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