VOYAGE OF THE ROCK ALIENS (1984)

VOYAGE OF THE ROCK ALIENS (1984)

Tagline: This is the story of a guy and his band, an alien and his band... and the girl in between.

(Musical,  Sci-Fi, Comedy) [PG]

Well, I was thinking about becoming a nun or a bomber pilot. Or maybe even going into politics.

Oh man, so I try to pick movies I think will be pretty damn bad on purpose sometimes just to widen my viewing parameters. For some reason, this movie looked horrifyingly bad but had a 4.5-star rating on Amazon Prime. Of course, it ended up on the docket and wow…it’s out of control. It’s basically a musical where we get aliens that are obsessed with rock and roll and even have a techno style band. They come to earth and almost immediately the captain (played by Tom Nolan) of the ship is attracted to Dee Dee (played by Pia Zadora). Dee Dee is not allowed to sing in the band her boyfriend (played by Craig Sheffer most famous for SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL) is in, called “The Pack”. She also falls for him and now there is going to be a battle of the bands to settle things once and for all. Who will get the girl, and will they be able to finally kill a crazy lake creature trying to destroy the school?

This thing has everything from crazy alien dudes, dressed like the flying monkeys from WIZARD OF OZ, a robot that is able to change itself into a fire-hydrant. One dude has a  4 locker shrine to his girlfriend with a freaking cougar in it. Not the older woman cougar, but a literal eat your face cougar. We get a criminally insane dude with a broken chainsaw and even a guy that has his head buried in the sand for almost the entire duration of the movie. If Thomas Dolby (the artist who sings “She Blinded Me With Science”) and a super reduced budget FLASH GORDON got into a fight, then you threw in some techno, soft rock, and rockabilly music, you would end up with something like the look and feel of this movie. It’s so nuts that I almost couldn’t stop laughing the entire time. It’s basically a life-changing and for me some of the details didn’t really come to light till the second viewing. 

The songs in this movie are surprisingly good for a movie of this type. The cheese is stacked high and in very thick slices, but the real-life bands “Rhema” and “Jimmy & The Mustangs” are pretty freakin great at putting together catchy 80’s nostalgia. “Rhema” was chosen for the movie after the President of Curb Records, Pia Zadora and others heard them play live in Arizona. One of the songs in the movie is even sung by Jermaine Jackson (yes, that Jermaine Jackson) and Pia Zadora who performed all of her own vocals. If you say you love the 80’s and don’t love this movie, I can’t take you seriously. The nonsense level in this thing is amazing. I should note that Director James Fargo was also the production manager for JAWS. 

I will say that’s it’s not completely perfect even with the expected level of insanity. The beginning of the bathroom scene where Dee Dee sings “You Bring Out The Lover In Me” is pretty tacky even for the ’80s. I also wasn’t crazy about the plotline involving the Sheriff. The role is played by Ruth Gordon who looks to have had an amazing career but was given some horrible lines and a throw-away role in this. Ruth sadly passed away two years after this was filmed. The good news is the moments we get in this that have added cringe, are short-lived. 

The movie was originally meant as a spoof of 1950s and 1960’s sci-fi which is pretty apparent in the scenes involving a random giant octopus-like tentacles that pop up throughout the movie.  There is also a back story about the lake near where the movie takes place in the fictional town of Speelburg. It took about 2 viewings to solidify this movie on a permanent, “lets watch this several times a year” list and we even bought the digital version. Apparently, at the time it came out the movie didn’t do well with test audiences so it had a super limited release in the US. You can find it on Blu-Ray, but this sucker is pretty rare so it’s going to cost somewhere over $30.00 (as of the writing of this review).

Overall this damn movie is basically a masterpiece of 80’s nostalgia that may never have an equal. The only thing that upsets me about this movie is that I didn’t see it when it came out. It feels like finding out you have a mind twin who sucked out your brain and found out exactly what you wanted to see all this time in a movie but never did. 

I give this movie a solid 6 out of 7 due to the very few tacky and unnecessary scenes. 

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF KGA/INTERPLANETARY CURB COMMUNICATIONS AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY. 

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