GODZILLA VS BIOLLANTE (1989)

GODZILLA VS BIOLLANTE (1989)

“Solitude weighs heavily, I get some strange ideas”.  - Dr. Shiragami .
You don’t say dude….

Man this thing… wow. Okay – I am calm now. After an entire class has a dream about Godzilla, bam…he just shows up in a volcano, because falling in a volcano in 1985 is just not a freakin problem for Godzilla at all. This crazy movie involves a rose plant mutated from Godzilla’s genes and the soul of this girl named Erika that becomes a giant plant Kaiju. The scientist behind it (Dr. Shiragami) is also the same dude that wanted to make geniuses from perfected sperm. Yeah – that actually gets mentioned in the movie.  One thing that cracks me up right off the bat is that the English voice for Seizo Okouchi’s character keeps saying “Godzillar” instead of “Godzilla”. He corrects the issue in the next seen where he mentions Godzilla. Another thing is that Biollante does not appreciate dudes in sunglasses. I mean that plant attacks every dude in sunglasses that it sees. No joke, if there is a dude in sunglasses in this movie, Biollante is going to attack that dude. I am also pretty sure that one of the shots of a piece of Biollante is literally a huge slice of sushi.

What we do get in this movie aside from one of the goofiest plots ever is some pretty cool action sequences between ships and helicopters attacking Godzilla and SUPER X 2. SUPER X 2 is like a special flying ship that is built just to fight Godzilla, but it looks and sounds like a futuristic toaster that only holds one slice of bread….I think you can get one at Wal-Mart for $17.99. The Godzilla design in this movie is also pretty solid (Godzilla has like 1 billion teeth) along with Biollante. The exception to this is a few shots of Godzilla under water which are just very wonky looking. This movie has some of the coolest Godzilla poster artwork of any of the Godzilla movies. It’s pretty much Godzilla vs that plant from Little Shop Of Horrors, only this one is bigger than Godzilla and spits acid. There is also a ton of un-necessary references to ESPN in this movie…I have no idea what this thing has to do with sports. Oh…actually never mind…it’s ESP. Carry on.

Overall the crew did a great job with Biollante but the storyline is seriously one of the worst ever,  and I can see why it bombed theatrically in Japan. There is also some pretty rad 80’s rock tracks in this thing but they are too far and few between. For that and some of the other things mentioned, this crazy movie sits in the 3 out of 7 range for me. I am glad I have it as a Godzilla fan, but it’s just really freakin rough in a lot of ways. It’s almost a comedy for me even some of the music between shots, sounds like it came from a Monty Python movie.

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