GILA (2012)
Back in 1959 a dude used a real gila monster and a miniature
set to make “The Giant Gila Monster” which if I have this in my archives, I may
just end up reviewing as well. This movie is basically a remake of that one using
junior high CGI. Yes, it’s actually worse than “Planet Of The Sharks” , but not
worse than “Birdemic : Shock And Terror” because nothing that anyone ever makes
will be worse than that.
Anyway the movie opens up with a couple getting attacked like every other great horror movie. Sadly there isn’t much great to point out after that. We do get some pretty 1950’s-ish acting only it’s a modern film so it doesn’t really work. We also get few old hot rods that look like they were borrowed from a hot rod show somewhere in the mid-west, and we are off to the races (literally). The first half of this movie is based on quaint hot rod races and a vendetta between two dudes. It doesn’t take long before the CGI starts attacking this town and with its radioactivity and size it seems pretty much indestructible. Even though Brian Gross (who plays the male lead “Chase”) is getting a lot of B-Movie work, he has been in both “Big Momma’s House 2”,“Red Tails” and the mega hit “Jack Frost 2 : Revenge Of The Mutant Killer Snowman” (sarcasm) , so it wasn’t like this was completely “hey you want to make a movie” casting. Unfortunately outside of him almost no one in this movie is very memorable. Things I did like about the movie included the soundtrack, and the fact that the cops in this town pretty much don’t care if you have stuff that can blow up your neighborhood,….as long as you are fighting a giant radioactive gila monster.
Anyway the movie opens up with a couple getting attacked like every other great horror movie. Sadly there isn’t much great to point out after that. We do get some pretty 1950’s-ish acting only it’s a modern film so it doesn’t really work. We also get few old hot rods that look like they were borrowed from a hot rod show somewhere in the mid-west, and we are off to the races (literally). The first half of this movie is based on quaint hot rod races and a vendetta between two dudes. It doesn’t take long before the CGI starts attacking this town and with its radioactivity and size it seems pretty much indestructible. Even though Brian Gross (who plays the male lead “Chase”) is getting a lot of B-Movie work, he has been in both “Big Momma’s House 2”,“Red Tails” and the mega hit “Jack Frost 2 : Revenge Of The Mutant Killer Snowman” (sarcasm) , so it wasn’t like this was completely “hey you want to make a movie” casting. Unfortunately outside of him almost no one in this movie is very memorable. Things I did like about the movie included the soundtrack, and the fact that the cops in this town pretty much don’t care if you have stuff that can blow up your neighborhood,….as long as you are fighting a giant radioactive gila monster.
On top of everything this movie positions
itself as something that should be shown on the SyFy Network every Christmas, because it take place during the holiday season and it’s got the lamest ending
scene of all time to prove it.
This thing isn’t great by any means, but
overall it’s decent for one of those movie nights where you are just like “screw
it…let the cheese hit the fan”.
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