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TOP 10 MOVIES OF 2014 - #2

January 16, 2015

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...this dumb tree is also my friend.

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PLEASE DON’T DESTROY: THE TREASURE OF FOGGY MOUNTAIN (2023)

PLEASE DON’T DESTROY: THE TREASURE OF FOGGY MOUNTAIN (2023) Tagline: There's No Going Back to Normal (Dark Comedy, Drama, Well At Least That Falcon Showed Up) [R] Dear God, please save me from this terrible trip with my two awful friends… In this one, three friends have started to drift apart even though they live together. Martin has a new girlfriend; Ben is about to take over his father’s outdoor store. All of this is too much for John, so he basically talks Ben and Martin into going to look for a treasure said to be buried in a nearby mountain. Along the way they run into park rangers Lisa and Taylor who realize the three friends have a map of the treasure, a forest cult, and the elements of Foggy Mountain. First off, there are some pretty bad lines in this poking fun at Catholics and Christians but I kind of expect that in secular films. One of the issues here is that it becomes a sadistic childish theme throughout, it’s not just one or two jokes. This is also another movie wh

WONKA (2023)

WONKA (2023) Tagline: Discover how Willy became... (Adventure, Comedy, Everlasting Gobstoppers?) [PG] May I present, Willy Wonka's wild and wonderful wishy-washy Wonka walker! Please, don't make me say that again. In this one, Willy Wonka has sailed the seven seas and with very little money wants to open a chocolate store. The problem is, that the town he goes to just so happens to have a chocolate cartel determined to keep Willy’s whacky chocolate genius at bay. After being hoodwinked into servitude at a local hotel, he enlists the help of a girl named Noodle and other victims of the hotel management to achieve his dreams, as well as theirs. First off, this movie is completely unnecessary. In fact, lots of really fun, really cool movies are unnecessary. Who cares? What we end up with here is a pretty fantastic little prequel that is probably better tied to the 1971’s WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, than it is 2005’s CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY . Several things a

THE FAMILY PLAN (2023)

THE FAMILY PLAN (2023) Tagline: Mark Your Calendar, Plan Your Getaway. (Action, Comedy, Stop…Collaborate And Listen) [PG-13] What is ice, ice, baby? In this one, Dan Morgan is just trying to raise his family with his wife Jessica. Then on their anniversary, someone takes a picture of him that ends up on social media and now his former boss knows where he is. Now Dan must take his family on a technology-free road trip from Buffalo to Las Vegas to pick up new identities, but Dan has forgotten one thing, he hasn’t told his family he’s a former assassin. First off, this movie is not without its flaws. In one scene the bad guys are tracking Dan and his family with a tracking device which makes sense, but after that is ditched, they still find ways to know exactly where he is going? It doesn’t make a ton of sense, but this is a comedy that carefully hides any plot issues with really fun antics and some heartwarming moments. I am not the biggest Mark Wahlberg ( UNCHARTED ) fan and I know I

THE BOYS IN THE BOAT (2023)

THE BOYS IN THE BOAT (2023) Tagline: Believe In The Impossible, Believe In Each Other. (Biography, Drama, On A Boat) [PG-13] First off, the rights to this film were originally owned by The Weinstein Company whose disgraced owner led to the company filing for bankruptcy. The rights eventually fell to Lantern Entertainment and the film was distributed by MGM. This one is about the University of Washington’s rowing team in the 1930s that was coached by Al Ulbrickson. It is the true story of an unlikely team of depression-era students who would shock their much wealthier opponents and eventually the world. This film is based on a book of the same name which was based on a true story. It is aptly directed by George Clooney, but I do think there are a few things he could have done here to make things more interesting visually. Unless you just really love the time period and row boats, this won’t blow you away on a visual level. What we do have here is a lot of impressive performances. Act

INFESTATION (2009)

INFESTATION (2009) Tagline: Prepare for Global Swarming (Action, Adventure, Bugs) [R] Okay, so back in 2009 you probably missed this B-Movie horror awesomeness. The premise revolves around a sudden invasion of large insects that have taken over the world and enslaved many in spider webs. Some of the victims turn into crazy spider-like creatures and things just get out of freakin hand. A rag-tag team of office workers and others struggle to survive and let’s just say most don’t make it. Let me start off by saying of all the B-movies out there, INFESTATION might be the single best written of them all. It’s clever, completely gross and pretty funny most of the time. Acting-wise get some great performances from Chris Marquette ( FREDDY VS JASON , JOAN OF ARCADIA, HOUSE MD) and Brooke Nevin ( I’LL ALWAYS KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER , CSI MIAMI). The supporting cast in this is also pretty solid. While I am giving this movie a high grade it is not without some issues. We never

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TOP 10 MOVIES OF 2014 - #2

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