TEACHING MRS. TINGLE (1999)

TEACHING MRS. TINGLE (1999)

Tagline: For twenty years, Mrs. Tingle has terrorized her students. This year, three of them are going to teach her a lesson. 

(Comedy, Thriller, Hey Teacher… Leave Those Kids Alone) [PG-13]

Who do you think you're fooling? You're so scared I can smell it. Your fear is the most predictable thing about you. You've lived your whole life in fear. Terrified of making a mistake, scared to death you won't get that A, that ticket out. Afraid you'll never escape your mother and her name tag. Or your father who won't return your calls…

So just as Katie Holmes's career started blowing up back in 1998 with “Dawson’s Creek”, she started landing movie roles and this is one of the more interesting ones when it comes to the cast. Featuring Barry Watson (from the TV show 7th Heaven) in his prime, to Marisa Coughlan before her SUPER TROOPERS days, and major stars like Molly Ringwald (BREAKFAST CLUB), Helen Mirran (F9: THE FAST SAGA), and Vivica A. Fox just 3 years removed from INDEPENDENCE DAY this thing often kind of just slips under the 90’s iconic radar very likely due to how brazenly quirky it is. I mean, this is a very weird movie. Helen Mirran said she did the movie because they gave her a crap load of money, but also enjoyed it because she got to lay in bed all day and wear a comfortable outfit. 

The story revolves around Lee Ann Watson who is in a rivalry to get to be the valedictorian so that she can get into Harvard. Her friend Luke steals the final exam and Lee Ann is caught with it. To rectify the situation they go along with Lee Ann’s friend Jo Lynn to the house of the teacher that caught them… the notoriously cruel Mrs. Tingle. While at the house Luke goes kind of nuts and Jo Lynn ends up shooting a crossbow that knocks out Mrs. Tingle. Rather than just leaving the group decides to kidnap her and keep her tied up at her house all day. The group must now decide what to do about the predicament they got themselves into. 

It should be noted that at one point I was in the age group of 14 to 18 and I wasn’t a valedictorian. My toe is smarter than these clowns in this movie. Lee Ann, Jo Lynn, and Luke are probably dumber combined than any of the 3 lead actors of any high school-related move in history.  This is not to say that weird dumb crap doesn’t happen in real life or that this movie is really far out there in regards to the events of the film, but this is supposed to be a comedy and it’s not even good in a funny way. These kids drink like they don’t know what soda, juice, or water even is. They just load up on alcohol like seasoned drinkers who would put Barney from the Simpsons to shame.  

I will say that the performances are actually very good. The script is the problem. Apparently, at one point the writers of “South Park” were attached to this but that didn’t pan out. We also almost got Alicia Silverstone in the role of Lee Ann. This is probably the only time in my life where I will say that Katie Holmes wasn’t a great fit for a role, but this is a film where Alicia would have done better and probably brought some life to this thing. This isn’t to say that Katie is terrible or anything. She actually does a pretty decent job of channeling her inner Joey Potter. 

One thing that does help this thing out aside from the cast is the soundtrack. It actually features Eve 6 who was a huge band at the time as well as Kendall Payne who is a successful Christian musician in her own right. By the way – if you ever want to read Kendall’s story it’s pretty fascinating and even involves Zachary Levi (SHAZAM!). https://kendallpayne.com/bio . 

Oddly this movie (which is a full-blown mess for 80% of its run time) ends up giving us a fantastic and unexpected ending which kind of just puts a weird little barbed-wire bow on this thing. Overall for me, it’s a 4 out of 7. The final act just manages to bring it up to the 4, because even the “character growth” element isn’t really plausible even in this whacky universe. This is not one of those movies I think most people are going to want to watch more than once. 

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF MIRAMAX AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY.