BULLET TRAIN (2022)

BULLET TRAIN (2022)

Tagline: The end of the line is just the beginning.

(Action, Comedy, Thomas The Train) [R]

Every job I do, somebody dies. I'm not that guy anymore.

In this one Ladybug an assassin trying to turn over a new leave as a “snatch and grab” thief ends up on a bullet train with 4 other assassins. Each assassin Prince, Tangerine, Lemon, and The Hornet all have antipodean missions with an unexpected connection to one another. Will Ladybug survive in a compact world of other trained killers like himself? 

First off, in case you didn’t notice from the previews this movie is loaded with well-known talents and even includes a few unexpected hilarious cameos. This is basically the movie that I think a lot of KILL BILL and KILL BILL 2 fans have kind of wanted since those two movies came out that isn’t actually KILL BILL 3. The huge difference is that this is more of a comedy and this is one of the few comedies of 2022 where I found myself laughing out loud. By the way, I guess at some point we are getting a KILL BILL 3. 

Everything about this movie is bombastic and violently out of control. What this thing doesn’t suffer from is the plague of feeling like it was written by a perverted fat guy in his mom’s basement. What we get for the most part is brilliant direction and fast-paced cuts that still give your eyes a chance to put the pieces together. I am not a huge Brad Pitt fan and he plays Ladybug in this, so having him pull this role off so expertly was really fun to watch because I really didn’t expect it. He is almost doing Ryan Reynolds in a Brad Pitt movie. 

Acting wise this is a good effort from everyone involved. This isn’t the best movie that Aaron Taylor-Johnson had been in (GODZILLA), but it is his best acting in any movie he’s done. His role as Tangerine was simply fantastic. If anyone steals the show though, it’s gotta be Brian Tyree Henry (GODZILLA VS KONG).  His role as Lemon was epic and I love that the writer gave him a bunch of lessons from “Thomas The Train”. Hiroyuki Sanada (MORTAL KOMBAT) crushes everything he is in and this is no exception. He is great as The Elder in the little amount of screen time he gets in this. Range wise the biggest test probably went to Joey King (INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE) and she is awesome, but also very dislikable in this role. Honestly zero complaints here. 

The camera work in a lot of shots is awesome, I always love when we are upside down or sideways, then we come around to being right-side up. That kind of stuff always makes films more interesting and the director knew how to do all these things well. It does make sense because David Leitch does have experience doing crazy action flicks and getting the best out of all these crazy sequences. The lighting is all pretty cool and you can’t go wrong with a colorful vibrant setting where you have Japanese artwork in every other shot. 

Where this thing is a bit sideways is the script. I loved the back and forth in this one, but whenever a writer is dropping F-bombs just as many times as they are using the word “and” or “the”, then you know we’ve got an issue with incongruous vocabulary when it comes to expression. What we didn’t have was a lack of backstories, but at least one of them was a pretty wasted sequence I didn’t feel the movie needed.

None of my issues with this are all that intense and because of that, I have to give this one a solid 6 out of 7. It’s an absolute blast to watch and I honestly felt like watching it again after it was over. I can see myself going back to check this out while it’s in theaters. 

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF 87 NORTH AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY. 

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