X-RAY (1981)

X-RAY (1981)

Tagline: There's no recovery at ... Hospital Massacre

(Horror, Slasher, Don’t Take The Pink Pill Susan!) [R]

Hey, wait, isn't this the hospital where they had all that trouble last year?

In this one, Susan Jeremy goes into the hospital to get results from a routine test. While she is there her x-ray is switched out tricking the staff on hand to keep her there for a series of unnecessary tests. It doesn’t take long before she realizes she is stranded on the 8th floor and a killer is after anyone who comes in contact with her and sometimes kills people who didn’t. 

First off, what kind of adds to the creepiness of this movie is that it was shot in an old abandoned hospital. So the sets are all pretty authentic looking. Fortunately for most people going to the hospital, almost nothing else about this hospital is normal, routine, or authentic. This movie actually had a couple of other names, “HOSPITAL MASSACRE” and “BE MY VALENTINE, OR ELSE...”. That also makes this one of several 80’s horror flicks centered around or involving Valentine’s Day. 

One crazy thing about this movie is the opening death scene. The ’80s were known to stretch things to the max when it came to limits, but even so, there were not a ton of movies where a kid kills another kid. It takes a long freakin time for the movie to finally get around to how the opening scene even relates to the rest of the movie. One thing that is pretty effective about this film outside of the setting is that the score is eerie as heck and they have a lot of bizarre chanting going on in some sequences. The movie also just randomly has 3 whacky old ladies in a few scenes that seem to only have the purpose of wigging everyone they run into out. It would be kind of like running into the 3 witches from HOCUS POCUS only you are at a hospital. 

Acting wise Barbi Benton is solid as Susan Jeremy, but doesn’t blow me away till the second act when we start getting to the scenes where she is finding her “fight”. I am guessing others thought she was great though because she would go on to be a regular on both “The Love Boat” and “Fantasy Island”. John Warner Williams comes across as sadistic as Dr. Saxon, but it’s even nuttier how everyone in this hospital just seems to have complete obedience to him. Williams was ironically best known for a one-year stint on “General Hospital” after this movie was made (bloody hell).

A reason I stayed away from this thing for so long is that I thought it might be a body horror flick before I finally read the synopsis, but fortunately, it’s not, and for me that is a good thing, because I can’t stand body horror crap. So if you come to this movie looking for gore over atmosphere and just general “slasher-ness” this isn’t going to be for you.  

Overall X-RAY is vastly effective and really doesn’t have any lulls. It’s a balls-to-the-wall, keep-you-on-your-feet horror flick with some of the 80’s cheese I always look for. The movie is relatively humorless which works largely because some of the hospital staff's antics are so completely outrageous. 

I give this one a solid 5 out of 7. I’d watch it again, but I do wish they had left out the opening scene, the movie just as convincing without it.

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF THE CANON GROUP AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY. 

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