CAVE WOMEN ON MARS (2008)
Tagline: See…Interstellar adventure! Primitive Martian Beauties! Rampaging Alien Beasties! Out-Of-This-World Romance! Wonders never before seen on the silver screen!
(Sci-Fi, Mars, Women That Will Jab Your Eye Out With Spears) [G]
Note – This movie did not originally have an MPAA rating, but I am pretty sure it would have been a G.
In this one, we are taken to the distant future, 1987. Space travel has become all the rage and the first manned mission to freakin Mars is underway. However, nothing could prepare Lieutenant Elliot and Captain Jackson for the startling discovery of CAVE WOMEN ON MARS!
First off this is another Christopher R. Mihm classic from way back in 2008. Yes, this thing is in black and white like every Christopher R. Mihm film to date. Written as another homage to the more fun sci-fi b-movies of the 50s, I would have to say this one most resembles CAT-WOMEN OF THE MOON and a bit of UNTAMED WOMEN in a more heartfelt blender.
I can’t say if Mihm got advice to shorten his movie or not to more fit the 50’s style, but this one runs at a pretty decent 73 minutes or 1 hour and 13 minutes (a full 20 minutes shorter than IT CAME FROM ANOTHER WORLD). I kind of love that because this gave the story just enough time to unfold without “feeling” like it was dragging. Most 1950’s movies run about 1 hour and 6 minutes to 1 hour and 10 minutes, so this was just about right. Unless you count the ungodly run time for that damn 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA movie. I will likely be reviewing that one soon, but back to this film.
What works in this movie is how well it’s written even given the gruff Mars Women and their total bossiness. This whole scenario would have fit right into the 50’s aesthetic perfectly. I really found myself enjoying Daniel Sjerven’s acting and reactions to the women of Mars as Lieutenant Elliot. Sjerven has become a mainstay in the “Mihmverse” starring in 8 Saint Euphoria productions to date. Josh Craig returns but as Captain Jackson this time and like his other “Mihmverse” movies, he also helped produce this one. The only downside is we do get his usual trademark pregnant pauses in most of his lines. We get a pretty good performance out of Alana Bloom who plays the lead female role Orla. Outside of this, she’s only done a few shorts and a few small parts in other films. The other standout in the movie is Rachel Grubb who plays Hagra. She purposely overplays the part which is a huge departure from her role as Amy in THE MONSTER FROM PHANTOM LAKE. Grubb has been in tons of crazy movies I won’t be watching, but she also has the distinction of being a go-to actress for the “Mihmverse”. 2019’s QUEEN OF SNAKES was her 4th movie under director Christopher R. Mihm.
While CAVE WOMEN ON MARS might have had the best writing of the first 4 “Mihmverse” films, it did seem to waste a slight opportunity with a pretty cool monster alien design that is only on screen for maybe 7 seconds. I think sci-fi fans like myself that might have been looking for a bit more of that might have knocked this down a few notches on the rating scale over that, but overall this is a movie I will be watching again and the love story has enough 50s charm to keep this grounded.
For me, this is a solid 4 out of 7. One or two more scenes with that rad monster and a few cuts on the opening banter between Lieutenant Elliot and Captain Jackson would have bumped it up a bit.
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