TEENAGE CAVE MAN (1958)

TEENAGE CAVE MAN (1958)

Tagline: Prehistoric Rebels Against Prehistoric Monsters!

(Sci-Fi, Adventure, When A Teenager Is Not A Teenager) [PG]

Note – This movie did not originally have an MPAA rating, but I am pretty sure it would have been a PG, nothing is really shown, but nudity is suggested in one scene. 

In this one, a tribesman decides he is sick of following “the Law” and decides to start doing things to piss off the leadership of the tribe. He has a thirst for knowledge that many think will get him and the tribe killed, so of course, the tribe decides to break all its own laws to try and stop him. Oh yeah, all this is happening in a land inhabited by dinosaurs, so we have that going on here too. 

First off, I am not sure we actually have even 1 teenager in this movie. Robert Vaughn who plays “The Teenage Cave Man” was 26 when the movie was shot. He looks almost 30 in the role. However, when you read that the original title for this movie was actually “PREHISTORIC WORLD”, it makes sense that director Roger Corman probably wasn’t even bothering to try and find a teenager for the role. Granted, this isn’t even close to the most egregious age violation in Hollywood. Henry Winkler was 39 when he finished playing “The Fonz” who was supposed to be a teenager on “Happy Days”. Ingrid Bergman was 33 when she played “Joan Of Arc” in 1948. Joan was supposed to be between 14 and 19 in the movie. Having said all that Robert in no way shape or form resembles a teenager in this movie. So just get “teenage” anything right out of your head. It was likely a marketing ploy at the time because sci-fi flicks were trying to attract younger audiences. 

Oddity – One of the taglines gives away the most interesting thing about this movie. Also, one actor plays 3 different parts and all 3 of them die. I kind of feel like that might be the only time something like this happens in the 1950s, but I also wouldn’t put it past some of these directors. 

The pacing of this movie is overall pretty slow, but it’s oddly not nearly as bad as some would have you think. I am pretty sure some of the “dinosaur” footage is borrowed from THE SHE CREATURE and TWO LOST WORLDS, but on the latter, I can’t really tell. There were several lizards being passed off as dinosaurs in the 50s. As for the dialog, damn, it’s just really rough. I think we might have been a little better off if everyone was just moving their mouths and they sent you a kit to do your own dialog. 

Overall the acting is actually decent. Robert Vaughn was no slouch and starred in over 229 projects in Hollywood. His career spanned from 1955 to 2017 which is really impressive. Darah Marshall plays “The Blonde Maiden” who ends up being “The Teenage Cave Man’s” girlfriend. In spite of her popularity for this role she only ended up acting for a grand total of 4 years on 6 different projects. Frank DeKova is pretty good as well as “The Black Bearded One”. He is most famous for THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, but I honestly thought during the entire movie that he had to be Nicolas Cage’s dad. Apparently, he’s not, but man, he looks like he could be. 

The wardrobe they gave these actors might as well have just been a thrift shop run. It’s so, so bad. The dinosaurs are pretty bad, but not the worst ever. 

Overall Malibu Productions created at least 2 more interesting movies than this one (INVASION OF THE SAUCER MEN, and THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN), but this movie was not as horrifyingly bad as I expected. I have to give this one a 3 out of 7. I don’t see myself watching it again. Not even for the twist ending, that they give away in one of the taglines.

GRAPHICS ARE THE PROPERTY OF MALIBU PRODUCTIONS AND ARE USED FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY. 

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