ROBOT JOX (1989)

ROBOT JOX (1989)

Tagline:  The ultimate killing machine. Part Man. Part Metal.

(Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller) [PG]

We are already dead. We are Robot Jox!

Inspired by the Transformers toys this is one of the first early attempts at making a live-action “giant-robot” movie. The actual script has these events taking place in the future after man has abandoned full-blown war and replaced it with gladiator-like robot battles to determine disputes for territory and other things. The battle in the movie is all about which country will control Alaska. The matches feature spectators and celebrity-like pilots that run the giant robots. 

I remember when the previews came out for this and being super pumped but sadly watching this the other day (given all the great giant robot stuff that has come out), this movie looks more like just a really beat b-movie that cost about $14 to make.  Unfortunately for the studio, it cost way more than that coming in at around a $10 million dollar budget and only made less than $2 million at the box office. 

At the time most of the actors in this were relatively unknown, but the secondary villain is played by Michael Alldredge who had over 97 acting credits including the epic TV series “V”. Danny Kamekona plays a character named Dr. Matsumoto who is trying to thwart a conspiracy aimed at fixing the robot jox fights. Kamekona is probably best known for playing Sato in KARATE KID II. The movie's lead actress was Anne-Marie Johnson as Athena, who you might have known if you were into the TV show “What’s Happening Now?” but outside that, at the time she was still relatively off the radar. The same goes for the lead protagonist Gary Graham as Achilles, who had only done some TV and just started filming the first season of the “Alien Nation” TV show when this came out. It may have been due to this and the fact that the script was really just all over the place regarding anything outside of the relationship/fighting between Achilles and Athena. 

While nostalgia probably gets this flick some good ratings from critics and fans, ultimately it’s just a slow-moving clunky poorly executed movie that hasn’t stood the test of time. I wish I had something better to say. Maybe some of its counterparts that I haven’t seen yet are better. I guess there were talks of a sequel that would have looked a lot like the plot to PACIFIC RIM only with aliens involved. Knowing a second “direct” installment was planned does make the extremely goofy ending seem slightly better. I mean if you watch this thing…holy cow that ending is just silly as hell. 

As excited as I was as a kid to see this thing, as an adult I can only try to enjoy it via laughter. I give ROBOT JOX a 3 out of 7. It’s not totally horrifying and I do give the makers credit for having the guts to at least try to give us something that brought our toys to life. The problem is these days you can make a better movie just doing stop motion with your kid's toys or your own just using a smartphone. 

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